The key word in the title of this doctrine is "Christian". There are many alternatives to Christian marriage that are entertained by both believers and unbelievers alike. To be a "Christian" marriage, it must conform to the structure and function that God designed marriage to be, here in the Church Age dispensation (period of time) in which we live. We will examine these requirements further along in this study.
Much of the "adultery" spoken of in Scripture has got nothing to do with sex, but is referring to disloyalty in one's relationship with the Lord. With every action or inaction that one chooses to take on a daily basis, one chooses between the straight and narrow way that glorifies the Lord, or the broad and wide way that pleases the devil and the self-centered, fallen nature (Romans 7) within us. There is NO third choice in the eyes of God.
The devil will supply all the opportunities that support one's desire to fulfill the perceived needs of the fallen nature that is in all of us.
One's ongoing choices relating to sexual activity when single, married, divorced, or widowed are no exceptions. We choose to walk on the straight and narrow, or on the broad and wide way.
The Lord Jesus Christ taught that one can commit the sexual sin of adultery without even making bodily contact (Matt. 5: 27, 28). I would suggest that the same logic could be applied to the sin of fornication. According to (Matt. 5: 32) one can commit adultery by marrying a divorced person whose previous marriage did not end due to immorality.
The primary reason that God leaves born again believers here on Earth once they are saved is to glorify Him by identifying and executing the post salvation spiritual life. A Christian can not entertain an "alternative" to Christian marriage and bring glory to God at the same time. Placing a personal relationship of ANY kind on a higher level on one's list of priorities than God or the things of God disqualifies one from the life of discipleship (Luke 14: 26).
James 2: 10 reminds us that if one is guilty of breaking ANY one of God's laws, that person stands as guilty as the one who had broken them ALL. "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all (James 2: 10 (NASB)." In light of the more than 300 "laws" of God found in the New Testament alone, there is not a day that goes by in which we do not sin by what we think, act, or say. Many of thee laws apply directly to the personal relationships we entertain. When (not if) we sin, we do so against God (Psalms 51: 4), and it is with God to whom we must address (1John 1: 9) our sin.
Sexual intercourse is not only a key element of Christian marriage, it is the marital duty of each partner to sexually accommodate one's mate's legitimate sexual expectations (1 Cor. 7: 3-5). There are circumstances and situations where one can not (as opposed to will not) perform sexually.
A premarital (private) discussion on what each one's sexual expectations consists of is one of the ways of determining the couple's sexual compatibility. IF one is not mature enough to conduct such a conversation, he/she is not mature enough for marriage.
Applying the human viewpoint of trying on the pair of shoes before making a purchase to sex clearly runs contrary to what the mind of Christ has to say about Christian marriage. God sees the sin of fornication (sexual intercourse outside of marriage) to be just as sinful as adultery (Heb. 13: 4).
Such arrangements may very well be "good for me", but NOTHING that amounts to sin will ever be "good enough" for an advancing disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ.
In each classification (single, married, separated, divorced, widowed) there are sexual allowances and prohibitions revealed to us in Scripture. Premarital, extramarital, and post-marital sexual intercourse between men and woman is sin (Heb. 13: 4). According to Scripture, sexual intercourse between persons of the same gender is sin (Romans 1: 26, 27/Leviticus 18: 22). Sexual intercourse with an animal is sin (Lev. 18: 23). Accordingly, any marriage or relationship that involves any of the above is outside of what Scripture would classify as a Christian marriage, even if it taking place between two so-called Christians. How so? Because any type of sin taking place within a relationship or marriage is leaving the third Partner (God) out.
Discipleship is a 24-7 lifestyle that sets the standards for advancing disciples no matter where he is or what he is doing.
QUESTION: Can someone sin and still be a Christian? ANSWER: Christians sin every day.
QUESTION: Can a Christian move forward in the plan of God and live in or with known sin that is not confessed (1John 1: 9) and forsaken (John 8: 11)? ANSWER: To walk with God, one must be in intimate fellowship (2Cor. 13: 14) with God the Holy Spirit. God cannot even look on sin ( Hab.1: 13 ), let alone be in fellowship with it or one who chooses to engage in it and not repent. A Christian who will repent (change his mind and behavior) will not lose his/her salvation, but is subject to divine discipline (Heb. 12: 6) here on Earth and loss of some (or all) of the additional rewards (1Cor. 2: 12-15) that the same believer would and could have otherwise received in Heaven.
We ALL have our areas of spiritual strengths and weaknesses. Areas of strength are those areas of our lives where it is relatively easy to apply what the Bible has to say. Areas of weakness are those areas of our lives where we are easily tempted and vulnerable to think, act, or say contrary to Scripture in order to feed the demands of the fallen nature within us (Romans 7). What makes us different is that we do not all have the same areas of strengths or weaknesses. What makes us the same is that we all have our own set of strengths and weaknesses and are in equal need of God's grace (James 2: 10).
There is nothing new about lesbianism or male homosexuality. Satan will endorse ANY activity that undermines the divine structure and purpose for marriage. Family structure not only impacts the individual's personal walk with the Lord (for the better or the worse), but is what establishes a secure and functional society.
Accepting the devil's alternatives denies God the glory that He would otherwise receive, secondly the devil is well aware of the destruction that immorality can have on individuals, families, societies, and a godly nation. Once a believer is out of fellowship with God for ANY reason, he/she is easy pickings for the devil (1Pet. 5: 8).
The straight and narrow way over the wide and broad way has never been an easy path to trod.
Human beings are sexual creatures. Placing one's mental and physical sex life under the control of God the Holy Spirit is an important part in the life of a disciple. Failing to do so can lead to disaster (Gal. 5: 16, 17).
If fornication, adultery, lesbianism or homosexuality are among one's personal areas of weakness, keep in mind that it is NOT a sin to be tempted (Hebrews 4: 15), and that ANY (1Cor. 6: 9 -11) temptation can be overcome as one spiritually matures. God may or may not choose to totally remove the temptation to engage in any one area of sin, but He will give us the power (John 15: 5) to choose not to engage in it. Our daily struggle with the fallen nature does NOT go away just because we have been saved. In fact, the pressure that the fallen nature will apply to our soul structure will increase as one grows in the knowledge (2Pet. 3: 18) and the application (James 1: 22) of the Word of God.
The devil knows what the areas of spiritual weakness are in each one of us and is a master at knowing what buttons to push and when to push them.
Paul, wrote of his personal struggle with the sin nature within himself 30 years after his salvation was secured and towards the end of his post salvation spiritual life here on Earth (Romans 7). The sin nature does not manifest itself the same way in each one of us. What may be a great area of temptation to oneself, is of little interest others. What is a great temptation to others, is of little interest to us. James 2 :10 reminds us that sin is sin and that one's area(s) of sin is no better or worse than another's. We are ALL in the same stinking, sinking boat, and equally in need of salvation. The sins that heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals can CHOOSE to engage in are no exception of the James 2: 10 principle.
The devil's world is right when it says that one's sexual preference is a choice, and that one's sexual orientation can be environmentally conditioned or promoted. But what the devil's world does not go on to say is why, or what the consequences will be when the wrong choices are made. Engaging in promiscuous behavior can, for instance, be an inward desire to be punished for some sin in one's past, as well as to satisfy a desire that one can not seem to secure through other means. Sexual behavior can be a manifestation of a desire to rebel against parental or godly authority. Like any other moral choice, it can be one of the areas in which the fallen nature can manifest itself.
The Biblical solution to ANY post (after) salvation sin, sexual or otherwise, is the same. The activity must be acknowledged for the SIN that it is and that we have chosen to engage in it. That is what the confession spoken of in 1 John 1 : 9 is all about. When the sin has become habitual or one's lifestyle, the ongoing sinful activity must also be forsaken (John 8: 11), if the believer is to move on and forward in the plan of God. Confessing when not coupled with forsaking will cause such a believer to spend much of his post salvation spiritual life in a "revolving doorway", going in and out of fellowship with God and NEVER going forward.
Keep in mind that the confession and forsaking of post salvation sin is NOT for the purpose of restoring or retaining one's salvation, but is for the purpose of re-securing and retaining fellowship (2 Cor. 13: 14) with God the Holy Spirit in order to execute the TRUE post salvation spiritual life.
Forgiveness of sin does NOT mean that there still aren't consequences and resulting issues to be dealt with and endured that, in some cases, can remain in place for the rest of one's life here on Earth. God allows such things as a constant reminder to one involved that one does indeed reap the seeds he/she sows. God uses the discipline that He uses on offenders as a visual teaching aid for others who are contemplating or involved in the same area of sin.
For example, God will always forgive the adulterer who confesses the sin (1John 1: 9), but that does not obligate the innocent party to remain in the marriage, and that remarriage on the part of the adulterer is not an option as long as his/he first mate is alive (Matt. 19: 9/ Matt. 5: 32.
Divorcees in cases where immorality was not the cause for the divorce, disqualifies BOTH partners from the ability to entertain Christian marriage with a new mate as long as one's first spouse is alive (Luke 16: 18). To do so, amounts to adultery.
The "except for immorality" principle of (Matt. 5: 32) that is not found in (Luke 16: 18) is the primary basis for different opinions within the Christian Community concerning the eligibility for remarriage following a divorce. In both cases, the passages concur that marrying a divorced person who was the guilty party (involved in immorality) amounts to adultery. Where Matt. 5: 32 and Luke 16: 18 differ, is that Luke 16: 18 does not include the exception clause found in Matt. 5: 32 that allows the innocent party to remarry.
If taken on its own, Luke 16: 18 would prohibit ANY divorcee from remarriage, as long as the first spouse is alive. Putting both passages side by side and reaching a harmonious conclusion would seem to mean that remarriage after divorce is only permissible if the one who remarries was not the one guilty of adultery during in the first marriage. It can be argued that the absence of an exception clause in the language of Luke 16: 18 does not expressively preclude there being an exception as expressed in Matt. 5: 32.
A believer can (with impunity) physically or legally separate if conditions (physical/mental abuse of partner or children, etc.) warrant it, but sexual activity with and/or remarriage to a new partner is not an option in the eyes of God during the period of separation. A separated Christian is still married in the eyes of God.
Different denominations have developed different policies that reflect BOTH the Luke 16: 18 (no exception) position, and the Matt. 5: 32) position that allows for remarriage under certain conditions. In most cases, it is NOT the divorce, but the eligibility to remarry that is disputed.
One should NEVER favor one denomination over another because its doctrine is more suitable for one's own circumstances. One should be convinced that the doctrine he/she accepts and applies truly reflects the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2: 16). This is most important in situations where one's choice will establish circumstances that can be very difficult to undo if one later determines that a mistake, or worse, a sin has been committed following a false doctrine.
A divorce and remarriage that is granted and approved by the State does not necessarily mean that one has been divorced and eligible for remarriage in the eyes of God.
The proverbial doors to my Internet ministry are open 24-7 to anyone who wishes to "enter" or to make use of it as part or as the primary source of his/her spiritual edification. Never-the-less, I chose NOT file the necessary paperwork with the State in order to make officiating at marriages a part of my internet-based ministry. I made this decision for several reasons.
The first is that, as a duly authorized "agent of the State", I do not want to be placed in a position where I could be compelled to conduct a wedding ceremony between partners that I believe fail to meet the requirements of Christian marriage. By not being so licensed, this eliminates the potential problem that I think is just over the horizon in the times in which we live for those who are so licensed.
Secondly, I am not interested in developing a larger congregation, if in doing so, the only reason that people connect is just to merely obtain the services that traditional ministries commonly offer to their congregants. If I were to serve as a minister in a traditional local assembly, I would have to provide this service. With an Internet ministry, my "congregation" is literally found in all areas of the world where the Internet is available. I am often surprised to read the statistic reports on my website and the privilege of spiritually interacting with so many people around the world in so many different cultures.
At the present time, If I were to include officiating in marriages for the more local people, it would be a major, time consuming, distraction to provide the premarital classes that I would require before marrying anyone. I would further require a minimum one year waiting period, beginning at the conclusion of the premarital classes, before the wedding ceremony was performed. This waiting period, with no premarital sex, would be for the purpose of each partner having the opportunity to really get to know the person he/she THINKS he/she wants to marry. Once one gets involved with the emotions associated with human sexuality, his/her judgment and ability to discern spiritual issues can be greatly compromised, and can lead to irreversible circumstances. Needless to say, there would not be too many people interested.
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Interesting to note, that Mary was found to be with Child after her betrothal (engagement ) to Joseph, but before her marriage to Joseph (Matt. 1: 18). The traditional length of the betrothal period was at least one year prior to the wedding feast. Keeping with tradition and Old Testament Law, Joseph and she had not had sex, prior to or during their (betrothal) engagement period, yet it took an angelic intervention (Matt.1:24) to convince Joseph of Mary's fidelity and the divine involvement and purpose concerning her conception.
They were betrothed (engaged), when Mary conceived what would become the Humanity of the Lord Jesus Christ none months later. Joseph did not take her as his wife after until after he was convinced via an angel of Mary's fidelity and the nature and purpose of the divine humanity that she had conceived. Just when, in the scheme of things, the "wedding" feast (as opposed to the betrothal ceremony) took place is not revealed in Scripture. We do know that as of the time they left for Bethlehem, she was in the final weeks of her pregnancy (Luke 2: 5), and that she gave birth shortly after arriving there. As of the time they had left for Bethlehem (for the tax registration by Joseph), the Gospel of Luke (Luke 2: 5 NASB) lists her status as being betrothed (engaged). Luke 2: 5 (KJV refers to her (at that time) as being Joseph's "espoused" wife.
In both cases, the original Greed word being translated into English is, "m-e-m-n-e-s-t-e-u-m-e-n-e", meaning that she was betrothed (engaged) to be Joseph's wife. IN that day and culture, the engagement ceremony was a binding as the marriage ceremony that followed, usually at least one year later. We do know that the consummation (sexual intercourse) of the marriage of Joseph and Mary did not take place until after the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ (Matt. 1: 25). After engaging in intercourse, Joseph and Mary had at least four sons and two daughters (Mark 6: 3).
Without Joseph bringing a charge of premarital sexual immorality against Mary, or two other witnesses who could testify having been eye-witnesses of Mary fornicating (that did not take place), no charges that could result in the stoning of Mary could be brought. Never the less, I have no doubt that Mary's situation and Joseph's reputation became the talk of the town before Joseph departed with an obviously pregnant Mary, departed and headed for Bethlehem.
Throughout all of this activity, I believe that it was hope of Satan that someone along the way would call for the stoning of Mary, as this would have prevent the coming into the world of the Lamb of God. Mob mentality is seldom interested in serving justice, obtaining all the facts, or listening to any viewpoint that would change their preconceived agenda.
Throughout human history, beginning in the Garden of Eden, the devil has attempted to undermine or to redefine the principles of marriage. In some cases, he has even used the actions of those who stand up for such things (eg. John the Baptist) as the means to eventually attack a believer. There is nothing new about any of Satan's alternatives for the divine design for marriage, but the devil continues to have considerable success by using them in each generation of the Church Age. This was prophesied to especially be true WITHIN THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY at large in the end time of the Church Age dispensation (1 Tim. 4: 1). This has been proven to be the case in the days in which we are living, with some in positions of leadership leading the way.
During the course of their marriage, Joseph and Mary later had four sons and two daughters (Matt. 13: 55), becoming the half- brothers (Gal. 1: 19) and half-sisters of the Humanity of the Lord Jesus Christ (Matt. 13: 55, 56). The humanities of these half-brothers and sisters of the Lord Jesus Christ were conceived in the normal fashion by Mary and Joseph, and like the humanities of Mary (Luke 1: 47) and Joseph, received the sin nature that is passed down at conception (Psalms 51: 5). This was NOT the case of the humanity of the Lord Jesus Christ, whose humanity was conceived via the Spirit of God, enabling Him (alone) to become the spotless Lamb of God (John 1: 29).
Before the public ministry of the Lord Jesus Christ took place, Joseph had been taken Home to be with the Lord. I believe that this was due, in part, because Joseph's part in the divine plan was to logistically support, protect, and to preserve the Humanity of the Lord Jesus Christ. This would have made it especially hard for Joseph to continue to do so in light of all that was to take place in the last days of the Earthly life of the Lord Jesus Christ.
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I chose to handle the doctrine of Christian Marriage in the same manner as all other doctrines, in that I present ALL of the relevant Scripture on ANY given subject, and leave the rejection or acceptance of it as a private matter between each believer and the Lord.
If one has ANY serious doubts about entering into ANY marriage, the best response to a proposal for marriage is. " Not right now." Better to wait and be sure than to rush into a marriage only to find out it was not the wise to have done. The legitimacy of one's marriage, lifestyle, and sexual conduct goes hand in hand with one's ability to execute the true post salvation spiritual life.
How so? One will not be in fellowship (2Cor. 13: 14) with God when engaged in an ongoing activity that God's Word has identified as sin. IF one is not in fellowship with God, he/she will be heavily influenced by the fallen nature within all of us (Romans 7). This fallen nature is hostile towards God and the things of God, and is not conducive to producing divine good.
Fear of being alone; the desire to establish and raise a family; being overwhelmed in the capacity of a single parent; the natural desire for sexual satisfaction; and the desire for human interaction can place a lot of pressure on a single person to seek a new relationship. The devil who prowls around with the intent of destroying the pursuit of our spiritual life (1 Pet. 5: 8), knows when we are most vulnerable.
"Immorality", as perceived during the Old Testament (Deut. 24: 1) dispensation that was still in view as of the 1st century AD, could involve finding out that one's wife was not a (sexual) virgin when she married, as well as any acts of her adultery after the marriage takes place. One of the reasons that the Lord Jesus Christ likely reiterated the permanency of marriage, was that the option of divorce had become so widely abused by so many that Deut. 24: 1 bills of divorce were being written and apparently approved for the most trivial of issues that far exceeded the intended purpose of the Deut. 24: 1 option.
Both Old testament, and later, Christian marriage were designed to be a life-long commitment. Even is cases of immorality, the preferred choice was and remains to be reconciliation.
Here in the Church Age, premarital or post marital fornication or extramarital sex on the part of either the man or the woman amounts to a violation of Heb. 13: 4.
Widowed and divorced persons return to the sexual prohibitions of a single person (Heb. 13: 4).
Widowed Christians are taught that if they choose to remarry, they should only do so with another eligible Christian (1 Cor. 7: 39).
Needless to say, this is not a popular teaching in the day and age in which we live, but nor was it popular in the day in which it was taught by the Lord Jesus Christ almost 2,000 years ago (Matt. 19: 10). The Biblical requirements and post divorce restrictions of Christian marriage are such that one is well advised to take a good look down the challenging (1 Cor. 7: 28) road of matrimony before choosing to tread there.
Some contend that the Biblical prohibition against remarriage on the part of the guilty partner is no longer valid IF the innocent party in the first marriage later chooses to marry someone else. Some understand () to mean that remarriage to another person is permissible if the first marriage ended when an unbelieving (non-Christian) partner wanted out. While the divorce is valid, I do not see this (in either scenario) as being a Biblical green light to remarry (Luke 16: 18). It is my interpretation of Scripture that only death or a divorce on the basis of immorality can end a Christian marriage. Until one's present marriage has ended, marrying another mate amount to adultery.
In many jurisdictions, the laws of Man allow for remarriage as long as the first marriage ended in divorce, regardless on what grounds the marriage was granted. Christian marriage holds Christians before, during, and after marriage to a much higher standard of accountability than do the laws of Man.
Without forgiveness, NO marriage can prosper. Forgiving others is NOT an option for a Christian. Forgiveness does not, in itself, mean that reconciliation must take place. God hates divorce (Malachi 2: 16). Whenever possible (sometimes it is not), reconciliation and not divorce is the preferred resolution to a marriage in trouble. Those considering divorce, should take into consideration all that being a divorced person will mean to them and to any children involved. Children can easily become pawns in the ensuing conflicts between parents, only adding to all they already will have to deal with if the parent(s) decide to divorce. No matter who was more responsible for the divorce, both parties will forever be the father or mother of the children involved. Only those who have been placed between two people they love can relate to the pain that such conflicts inevitable create.
In most cases, it is not the confessing (acknowledging that one has sinned) requirement of God (1 John 1: 9) that is so hard to do. This is especially true once one realizes that he/she would not be telling God anything that He does not already know, and that God has already made it clear what His response to confession (forgiveness) will be. It is when the forsaking part (John 8: 11) of the process calls for one to conform an existing marriage or relationship to the requirements of Christian marriage (Heb. 13: 4) that the real test of one's commitment to discipleship (Luke 14: 26) will be put to the test.
A Christian disciple does NOT get to decide what doctrines he/she will learn and/or apply (James 2: 10). As was stated earlier, the Scripture that applies to Christian marriage applies to every believer. The Doctrine of Christian marriage addresses the sexual do's and don'ts in every status (single, living together, married, separated, divorced, separated) of human relationships.
Some religions, human viewpoint, and secular government offer ways to circumvent the unyielding principles of Christian marriage. These situations contribute to making such alternatives legally permissible and socially accepted, but such things are not going to float in the Court of Heaven. How we "feel" about any given issue, or what the laws of Man, apart from God, requires or permits here on Earth will not be of issue when the post salvation spiritual life of born again believers are evaluated in the Court of Heaven (1 Cor. 3: 12-15).
Scripture offers no other solutions but those of 1 John 1: 9 (confession to God) and John 8: 11 (forsaking the sin) to address ANY form of post (after) salvation sin. For many, like the rich man of (Matt. 19: 21, 22), the cost of discipleship is more than what many "Christians" are willing to entertain. For the rich man of(Matt. 19: 21, the issue was his money. For many more, it is their personal relationships that run contrary to the, "...mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2: 16 NASB)." God will not share His place on one's list of priorities. with anyone or any thing! Eve had been deceived (1Tim. 2: 14), but Adam knew what eating of the fruit would mean. Adam chose his relationship with his wife over his relationship with God (Gen. 3: 17). We all know how that worked out!
"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate (love less) his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be My disciple (Luke 14: 26 NASB/italics mine)."
Secular government, "religion", and cultural tradition have engineered their own version of the requirements and procedure(s) in order for a couple to be considered "married".
In the eyes of Man's law, one becomes legally married, and thereby legally bound to the civil laws of marriage, as of the point in time when both parties comply with the secular law(s) of the land concerning marriage. In modern times, this generally consists of legally obtaining a marriage license and having a qualified person (ordained clergyman/judge/justice of the peace) with the legal authority to officiate, conduct a marriage ceremony.
Most Bible scholars concur that a marriage has been initiated in the eyes of God as of the point in time in which each partner mutually acknowledges each other as becoming his wife and her husband, f-o-l-l-o-w-e-d by the consummating of the marriage via sexual intercourse (Gen. 2: 24). Christian marriage has its roots in Old Testament Scripture, and is reiterated in New Testament Scripture that continues to address the subject for believers of the Church Age.
The dispensation of the Church Age does NOT end until what theologians have labelled the "Rapture" (1 Thess. 4: 15-17 )takes place Until then, ALL (Matt. 5: 18) of the details of Scripture that pertains to Christian Marriage remain in force, no matter how "old fashioned" or "politically incorrect" such principles may become here in the devil's world.
Most religion and cultures have developed some kind of wedding ceremony in which the mutual acknowledgement of husband and wife takes place, usually in conjunction with the officiating requirement of either ordained clergy or legally qualified person as in the case of civil law. Various "religious" sub-groups within the Christian Community at large have differing viewpoints as to when, short of death, a marriage can come to an end, and under what circumstances a divorced believer can entertain Christian Marriage in the future. Some of these "differing" viewpoints can be Biblically substantiated, others simply can not.
While not prescribing any specific ceremony or procedure for "weddings", the Bible makes it clear that sexual intercourse prior acknowledging each other as being husband and wife amounts to the sin of fornication. Extramarital sexual intercourse with anyone other than with the ONE that Scripture acknowledges as one's husband or wife, amounts to adultery.
Marrying when "otherwise" divorced, or marrying someone who has been "otherwise" divorced" amounts to adultery. "Otherwise" divorced means that one was/is divorced, but not as the result of adultery having taken place in the previous marriage.
Polygamy, simultaneously having more than one wife, was practiced by many Old Testament Biblical characters, and has been an accepted lifestyle in many different religious and political environments. It is interesting to note that although polygamy allows for one man to have several wives, the same option is not afforded to women. In polygamy, the one husband remains the one in the position of martial authority.
Technically, sexual intercourse between one husband multiple wives (one at a time) does not constitute fornication nor adultery. To be accurately labelled fornication, the sex act has to involve persons who are not married to each other. To labelled adultery, the sex act has to involve a having sex with a person who is not one's husband/wife. Under the umbrella of polygamy, all parties are married, and no one is having sex with anyone who is not their acknowledged husband or wife.
I do not advocate polygamy.
The personal and spiritual lives of many of the men (e.g., Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon) who engaged in polygamy (or who produced perspective heirs via concubines) proved to be disastrous. Polygamy can trigger rivalry, competition, jealousy, hatred, and conspiracies within the home. Resulting inheritance disputes as descendants of Abraham remain to be one of the primary reasons for political and religious unrest that have and will continue to dominate international affairs in the Middle East.
In the times in which we live, many secular jurisdictions will not issue a marriage license for a future marriage as long as either one of the applicants are still "married" to someone else, as secular law defines marriage. Most clergyman within the Christian Community at large will not officiate over a "wedding" for which a valid secular marriage license has not been first obtained. This in itself eliminates polygamy as an option is the majority of jurisdictions that regulate secular marriage.
Like divorce, I believe that polygamy is a deviation from the divine design for marriage. God removed ONE rib and created ONE woman for Adam; not a harem!
Scripture (1 Cor. 7: 28) teach that being married to one wife presents challenges to the execution of the true post salvation spiritual life, let alone adding more to the mix.
Annulments involve having a marriage declared invalid from the get go, and therefore not binding. There are civil and religious annulments. The grounds for obtaining a civil annulment vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Generally speaking, civil annulments refer to cases of representation or lack the legal standing of one or both parties who entertained the illegal marriage.
A Roman Catholic can seek a religious annulment that would then allow him/her, being a divorcee, to entertain a a new marriage with someone else after completing the annulment procedure.
It is of my opinion, that annulments, like divorce and polygamy, is a deviation from the divine plan that God designed. Annulments are NOT to be used as the means to circumvent the requirements and restrictions that God intended for marriage or remarriage to entail. If any relationship is ruled invalid (annulled), would that not make any mutual sexual intercourse that took place during the relationship an act of fornication?
Many secular laws concerning marriage, separation, divorce, and especially remarriage differ from the Biblically documented principles of Christian marriage.
As far as Christian marriage is concerned, divorce can be granted for a variety of legitimate reasons, but the issue gets complicated should a divorced Christian desire to marry a new mate. Remarriage is ONLY the option of the innocent party (the one not involved in sexual immorality) in a previous marriage, and only then if the guilty party had engaged in sexual immorality that resulted in the divorce. Divorced persons, whose marriage did not end as a result of act of adultery on the part of one's former mate, can not then marry a new mate. Marrying a divorced person whose divorce was not the result of sexual immorality amounts to adultery.
The sanctity of Christian marriage can be a real challenge to single, married, separated, divorced, or widowed believers who are of an age when sexual desires are a natural part of being a human being. God's warning, however, could not be any clearer that it was expressed in Heb. 13: 4.
"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators (premarital sex) and adulterers
(extramarital sex) God will judge." (Heb. 13: 4 NASB/italics mine)."
The "judgment" may not come in the form or manner that one might expect (Isa. 55: 8, 9), but no one gets away with anything (Gal. 6: 7). Judgement from God can come fast and swift (Acts 5), but many times the divine discipline (Heb. 12: 6) that God imposes is simply let the inevitable consequences of our choices plays themselves out over the course of time. Sometimes our self-induced misery is the most painful to endure, leaving no one to blame other than the one we face in the mirror every day.
The TRUE post salvation spiritual life is not always to do what comes natural to the advancing disciple, but to choose to do what God desires him/her to do with the enabling power (John 15: 5) of God. It is when we are challenged in the areas of where we are spiritually weak and most vulnerable that the pressure of spiritual combat (Eph. 6: 12) will be most heavily experienced.
Scripture (1 Cor. 7: 4, 5) speaks about placing our married mates in harms way concerning sexual temptations and opportunities.
Thank God that failure in marriage does not jeopardize either the eligibility to receive or to retain salvation. Never-the-less, it is NOT an issue to be taken lightly. Even in the secular world, the first thing that a wise supervisor will ask when one's performance on the job diminishes is if there is there is illness or if something gone wrong at home.
Premarital, marital, and post marital issues can greatly diminish, impede, and interfere with the production of divine good that glorifies God in the course of the believers' post salvation spiritual lives.
Any sin, including fornication and adultery, that has not been confessed (1 John 1: 9) and/or forsaken (John 8: 11) takes and keeps the saved believer out of fellowship (2 Cor. 13: 14) with God. As long as one remains out of fellowship with God, he/she remains saved but is not in the right frame of mind to execute the TRUE post salvation spiritual life. Post salvation sin that has not been confessed/forsaken invites divine discipline (Heb. 12: 6). When out of fellowship with God, the believer is under the influence of the fallen nature that is "hostile (Romans 8: 7)" towards God and the things of God. This hidden hostility becomes evidence when one "explodes" in response to someone sharing a point of doctrine that would suggest correction on the part of the wayward believer. During periods of the post salvation spiritual life that we spend (waste) out of fellowship with God, there is NO production of "divine good". This results in the loss of some of the eternal rewards that he/she would have otherwise receive in Heaven.
For an advancing disciple, a life that does not glorify God is no life at all, and is in itself enough to motivate him/her to confess and forsake sin.
While divorce (except on the grounds of adultery) is NOT an option, there are many other reasons that Christians may separate and live apart. Such reasons include physical abuse, verbal abuse, child molestation, non-support, drug/alcohol abuse. Separated partners can not engage in sexual intimacy with a third parties.
There is a school of thought that contends when a marriage ends in divorce in which there was no adultery, and then one of the divorced parties remarry a new spouse (amounting to adultery), the other spouse in the first divorce is then free to remarry, being the "innocent" party in adultery. This argument is based on the fact that although the first marriage that was terminated by the laws of Man (without adultery being an issue), such a divorce and remarriage amounts to adultery on the part of the one who re-marries first, opening the door of opportunity for the other party in the first marriage to remarry. This viewpoint is accepted in some areas of the Christian Community applying the Matt. 5: 32 exception , and is rejected by others, primarily on the basis of Luke 16: 18 .
Sound doctrinal teachings on this subject will upset many individuals, Christian and non-Christians alike, who have chosen to engage in alternative behaviors, or entertain relationship structures, and living arrangements that run contrary to what the, "...mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2: 16 (NASB)" has to say concerning these matters.
Marriage is one of the divine institutions that God established for the stability of society and the continuation of the human race for as long as the human race inhabits the Earth in its present form. The pre-marital, marital, and post-marital restraints and privileges is one of the things that (should) distinguish the human being from the other natural beings with whom we share the planet.
"Christian" marriage is for Christians who, as advancing disciples, desire to conform EVERY area of their post salvation spiritual life to the "likeness" or the "mind of Christ 1 Cor. 2: 16. The "mind of Christ" is how God views any given subject.
Marriage in general is a mixed bag of happiness and adversity. "Christian" marriage, without the enabling power of God, is humanly impossible (John 15: 5) to execute. There are requirements of Christian marriage that both men (authority) and woman (obedience) will find extremely difficult to execute when the pressure gets too great. Even the more patient, passive, and tolerant among us can come to the point where enough is enough and battle begins.
Grease (human viewpoint) and water (divine viewpoint) do not mix. One can stir up a concoction of water and grease up and for a while have it give the appearance of coexistence in the same glass, but in time will self-separate. In the same way, two married partners can choose to establish a relationship or marriage that "works for them", but will not be the kind of marriage through which God is glorified.
According to Scripture, non-Christians and/or Christians who are out of fellowship with God , lack the divine enabling power of God John 15: 5) to do ANYTHING in the spiritual realm, let alone something as challenging as Christian marriage.
The first two questions that should be asked in preparation for Christian marriage classes are these. For the man, "Are you prepared to be the spiritual leader in the home, taking on all the responsibility and accountability documented in Scripture that comes along with that position?" For the woman, "Are you prepared to obey your husband in ALL matters?
Christian bookstores and many sermons are replete with Christian "how to" material addressing such things as marriage, but when failing to emphasize the all-important necessity of doing so with the enabling (John 15: 5) power of God, such human efforts only set the stage for failure at the point of execution. This comes to light when the, "I've tried that.", response is given when offering spiritual guidance to believers who are involved with a marriage that is headed for or on the rocks.
Christian marriage is a three-way partnership, with God being the boss. When "Christian" marriage fails, it is because one or both of the human partners left God or the things of God out of the relationship. If only ONE of the human partners places all marital issues under the guidance and control of God the Holy Spirit, the marriage, as far as being a Christian marriage, will fail. Both human partners have to have an understanding of what their individual roles are. Granted, two people can leave God out and come to a mutual agreement as to how their alternate relationship is to function, but the subject here is Christian Marriage, where there are NO alternatives to the design that God has laid out in Scripture.
The first step in preparing or establishing a "Christian" marriage is to secure an understanding of one's OWN role in the relationship. When (not if) things go wrong, the first thing that a Christian mate who desires to restore and/or retain a Christian Marriage is to conduct a 2Cor. 13: 5 SELF examination to determine where he/she needs to make corrections. There is usually enough blame to go around for both sides to address.
In doing so, one might THEN see clear enough (Luke 6: 42) to adequately address the mutual issues that need to be identified and corrected. Reconciliation is not going to take place without genuine forgiveness, and genuine forgiveness is not going to take place without the enabling John 15:5 power to do so. Placing issues on the back burner for momentary peace, only to bring the issues forward again at a later time, is NOT genuine forgiveness.
One cannot function in agape (unconditional) love and still have an axe to grind (the need to make a point) at the same time. If after truly applying the relevant doctrines to the situation, and it then calls for a separation and/or divorce, at least you can do so knowing that you have done everything within your means to keep the vows you made to the divine (God) partner in the relationship.
The fallen nature is self-centered and inherently 'hostile (Romans 7: 8 NASB) towards God and the things of God. Christian marriage is one of the things of God. Accordingly, non-Christians or Christians out of fellow with God are NOT "naturally" inclined to function in the capacity of either a "Christian" husband or a "Christian" wife.
The fallen nature in us will have us feign love, but only for the secret motivation of obtaining a self-centered objective through deceitful manipulation. Faked love becomes evident as soon as what was desired does not materialize. Agape love does what it does rather it is reciprocated or not. BOTH the true lover and the one who only wants to seek his/her own pleasure will say, "I love you!" One is a liar.
There are many definitions and types of love, but "agape" love (required for Christian marriage) can be best measured by the extent that one places the needs and desires of his/her spouse above his/her own.
Love for self, spouse, or any thing must never take priority over love for God ( Luke 14: 26 ). In Christian marriage, this should never an issue. But, if a Christian is placed in a position that he/she must choose between honoring (through obedience) God and seeking the fellowship of his/her wife/husband, or family, God is to be honored.
Note that it was, in part, that Adam listened to the voice of his wife (Gen. 3: 17) over the voice of God who had given him specific instructions, that God disciplined Adam (Gen. 3:17) and brought the principle of toilsome labor (for men) into the human environment for males.
Females, in the name of "liberation", in more recent history have joined and sought equality in the work force, only to learn that they have also taken on the accompanying Adamic curse (toilsome labor) that goes along with it, as if the curse placed on women (Gen. 3: 16) after the fall were not enough.
I am one of exceptions that can say that I truly loved the labor of my secular profession of 30 years. Most people I know either hate their job, or at best, tolerate it as the means for the financial benefits and necessities that it provides. Toilsome labor is the Adamic general curse that the actions of Adam brought to male members of the human race, and has been adopted, or by circumstances, been forced upon many women, as well. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but as I see it, the "liberated" woman and the society that it produced lost a lot more than there was to be gained.
As in the case of Adam, God prepares the place (Gen. 2:8) and assigned the temporal (Gen. 2: 15) and spiritual (1Cor. 12) work that each one of us is called to do. This work can take place at home (Titus 2: 5), out in the world (2Cor. 5: 20), or both. The primary spiritual purpose of one's secular profession, career, labor, or domestic chores is to provide the place where each and every believer is to fulfill the individual divine purposes that he/she has been assigned by God. God also, right from the beginning, provided the man with a helpmate to provide company and the means for the human face to continue. In the plan of God, the roles that God assigned to the male husband and the female wife complimented (not competed with) each other.
Note that one of the first consequences that both Adam and Eve encountered was being kicked out of the place (Garden) where Adam has enjoyed his labor, and the woman enjoyed the relationship she had with Adam as his helpmate. From that point on, the work of the man was to be toilsome, and the woman would encounter a relationship of subordination.
Man has been trying to reverse the curse placed on men and women ever since.
Implying there is something "better" out there (Gen. #: 5) has been the devil's bait from the very beginning. The devil has a long history of suggesting improvements and of offering and even providing much to anyone (Luke 4: 5,6) in order to serve his own purposes. Among his "purposes" is to deny God as much glory as he can and to destroy (1Pet. 5: 8) the post salvation spiritual life of anyone who chooses to live a godly life (2Tim. 3: 12).
Here in America, what began as "extra" money that a working wife and mother provided, has now become a financial necessity if the "improved" home that the devil designed is to be established and maintained.
In "Christian" marriage, the husband is the one who has the final say in ALL matters (Eph. 5: 22-24). A wise Christian husband will always give an ear to what a godly (godly = one who has the mind of Christ) wife and the mother of his children has to say. Never-the-less, there are times when he must also be wise enough to say, "No!" (Gen. 3: 17) and take the heat that comes along with being the one in charge.
The one and only time a Christian wife can disobey her Christian husband is when obeying her husband would cause her to sin against God.
Abusing the authority that God gives in ANY capacity is a terrible sin. The same epistle (Letter to the Ephesians) that reiterates the Old Testament (Gen. 3: 16) principle of marital authority for the Church age, also commands the husband to, "...love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Eph. 5: 25 NASB)." One of the consequences for not treating one's wife as one should is "hindered" prayers (1 Pet. 3: 7).
In any functional unit, especially in times of great stress, there has to be ONE final source of authority whose decisions and instructions MUST be obeyed. Shared or equal authority among partners does not provide for this.
We could debate forever why God chose to make the husband the head of the home that He designed, or why He chose to place men in leadership positions in the Church that He designed, but this would not change the facts that He did just that. The standards that God revealed in Scripture for the structure and functional authority in both the home and the Church are for the duration of the ENTIRE dispensation of the Church Age. The (Gal. 3: 28) passage speaks of gender equality as it pertains to salvation. This is not to be construed to cancel out the gender specific plan for the leadership roles within either the home or the local assemblies of the Church.
The Church Age began at the Feast of Pentecost in Jerusalem shortly after our Lord's ascension, and remains in place until the Rapture (1 Thess. 4: 15 -17) takes place. Accordingly, Scripture that outlines the leadership roles in the home and in the Church have been established for the duration of the Church Age .
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"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one or love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other. You (individually or as a married couple) cannot serve God and mammon (money/materialism)."Matt. 6: 24 NASB italics/mine.
Sad to say, but in the Christian Community at large, many marriages on based on financial and materialistic expectations.
There is nothing wrong with an advancing disciple (single or married) seeking and then enjoying legitimate earthly prosperity (3 John 1: 2 ). There IS, however, everything wrong when the desire for, or actually obtaining money (or the things that money can buy) exceeds one's desire to seek God and/or things of God. Christian marriage is one of the "things" of God. For an advancing disciple, having a "Christian" marriage that honors and glorifies Christ is more important than all the financial and materialism that the alternative forms of marriage can offer.
It's no secret that one can financially prosper a lot sooner and acquire much more temporal wealth by doing things via "the way of the devil's world" than the same one is ever likely to obtain by living according to the, "mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2: 16)." True discipleship IS going to cost you something in EVERY area of one's life. A "little" here, and a "half" truth there will work "wonders" here in the devil's world. If we can compromise and rationalize dishonesty in the "little", day to day incidents of life, we will not be honest in the bigger issues either. God is just as glorified (or dishonored) in the presence of unseen angels, fallen and elect, by how we CHOOSE to handle "little" things, as He is when making major decisions in life. For an advancing disciple, NOTHING that impacts the glory of God can be considered "little".
In the ungodly society that has evolved here in the USA, it can be a real challenge for many believers to be truly content with what they do have (Phil. 4: 11-13) when we take our eyes off the road ahead of the TRUE post salvation spiritual life, and begin to take note of all that the devil's world has to offer those who are willing to dance to the devil's tune.
It is easy to be content when life is going our way, but believers are called to be content in whatever circumstances one finds him/herself. An advancing disciple will always be content as long as he/she knows that his/her present circumstances is where God wants him/her to be in the course of his/her post salvation spiritual life.
"Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in ANY and EVERY circumstances I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, BOTH of having abundance and of suffering need (Phil. 4: 12 NASB)."
Just because someone's marriage is being "blessed", does not mean that the blessings are necessarily coming from God. The production of human good and services has its own rewards, here on Earth, that can be received by believers and unbelievers alike. The devil has a l-o-n-g history of offering, and in some cases delivering, what the world considers great fortune to those who are willing to dance to the devil's tune. What he fails to mention that there will come a day when one must pay the fiddler.
Believers who choose to entertain Christian marriage may or may not find themselves to be the recipients of much temporal blessings, regardless of what the "name it and claim it" type of preachers have to say. Just as in the case of single believers, following the plan that God has may involve the lifestyle (financially) equal to the rich and famous. It may also call for a life of relative poverty in a 3rd world environment, or in most cases somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.
Regardless of where one's individual or Christian marriage takes the believer, faithfulness to God will result in them being called great in the world to come (Matt. 5: 19).
"...whoever keeps and teaches them (the commands/principles of God), he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven ( Matt. 5: 19 NASB italics mine)." Note that the reverse is also true! "Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and so teaches others, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven (Matt. 5: 19 NASB)."
"Teachers", in this passage, is not just making reference to pastor-teachers. It is making reference to EACH and every BELIEVER, who "teaches" those who observe them every day, Each one of us, by our example either teaches the ways of the world or the ways of God (1 Cor. 2: 16/Isa. 55: 8). One of best ways that an advancing disciple ''teaches" others the ways of God is by his/her own living example. How well (or not) one executes "Christian" marriage will NOT go unnoticed by the human and angelic (1 Cor. 11: 10) observers all around us.
"Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels (1Cor. 11: 10 NASB)."
In the day and age in which we are living, the best symbol of authority that a Christian wife can display is not so much her choice of head gear in Church, but her submission to the authority of her husband. This submission honors both God and the husband. Mothers deserve the respect of her children, but "shoot themselves in the foot" when they themselves show disrespect or contempt for the authority her husband, the father of the children involved. If Ma can circumvent the one is authority in the home, why can't the kids?
Regarding the angelic observers referenced in 1 Cor. 11, very few Biblical Commentaries seem to get this right. Some offer some real "off the wall" explanations. The fact that angels observe human behavior is a part of the Angelic Conflict into which, and primarily for which, the human race was created in the first place. No doubt, the marriage environment is an area where walking the walk is much harder that talking the talk and the devil and/or his angels are there to watch us fall!
All of the angels, prior to the rebellion led by Satan, lived in the presence of God. The knowledge of the existence and of the identity of the one true God was never an issue for the angels. The angels, like the humans to be later created, were given free will in which each one of them had to choose between remaining true to God and things of God or to follow Satan. Satan chose to rebel and attempted to establish his own kingdom, independently of God (Isa. 14: 13). The cities of this fallen kingdom were set up on Earth at a time that "no man was found", having not yet been created. The "cities" of this kingdom were pulled down by God Jer. 4: 23, causing the surface of the Earth to become formless and void (Compare Jer. with Gen. 1: 2). It was on this same Earth that God restored and prepared for the occupation of the human race at the appointed time. The primary purpose for the creation of Man and being placed HERE on this Earth, was to glorify by God by choosing to honor Him in the presence of the fallen angels who observe human history.
The revolt failed, and the devil and the angels who had followed him were sentenced to spending all of eternity in the lake of fire that has already been prepared (Matt. 25: 41) to receive them. The sentence has not and will not be carried out, however, until the appointed time (Rev. 20: 10 ) that coincides with the end of the human environment, as we know it to be today.
In the meantime, among other things, members of the angelic realm observe the daily activity of the human race. Humans do not have the experiential evidence of Heaven that the angles had, but are called to choose for God or face a similar future in the same lake of fire (Rev. 20: 15). The fact humans can choose to place their faith in God and in the things of God WITHOUT having the heavenly experience as did the angels, affords the human soul the opportunity to brings greater glory to God than angels.
To provide the human race with real choices, God allows the devil and his evil forces (Ephesians 6: 12) awaiting the lake of fire to engage in spiritual combat with the souls of the human race. This spiritual combat does not (for the most part) involve any of the activity promoted in the horror films of our day, but involves presenting "alternative" thoughts and actions that run contrary to the mind of Christ. These alternatives DO appeal to the fallen nature (Romans 7:8) in ALL of us.
When humans choose for God and the things of God, He is glorified. When humans choose otherwise, God is denied the glory that He would have otherwise received. In the Church Age dispensation in which WE are presently living, "choosing for God" BEGINS with believing in a presentation of the TRUE Gospel Message, and continues on by learning and applying post salvation doctrine throughout the course of one's post salvation spiritual life.
Knowing how difficult the challenge of genuine Christian marriage can be, I have no doubt that it is in the marital environment that angels get the most insight into rather or not those who claim to be Christians walk the walk as well as they talk the talk.
Click HERE to go to Christian Marriage Part Two
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Much of the "adultery" spoken of in Scripture has got nothing to do with sex, but is referring to disloyalty in one's relationship with the Lord. With every action or inaction that one chooses to take on a daily basis, one chooses between the straight and narrow way that glorifies the Lord, or the broad and wide way that pleases the devil and the self-centered, fallen nature (Romans 7) within us. There is NO third choice in the eyes of God.
The devil will supply all the opportunities that support one's desire to fulfill the perceived needs of the fallen nature that is in all of us.
One's ongoing choices relating to sexual activity when single, married, divorced, or widowed are no exceptions. We choose to walk on the straight and narrow, or on the broad and wide way.
The Lord Jesus Christ taught that one can commit the sexual sin of adultery without even making bodily contact (Matt. 5: 27, 28). I would suggest that the same logic could be applied to the sin of fornication. According to (Matt. 5: 32) one can commit adultery by marrying a divorced person whose previous marriage did not end due to immorality.
The primary reason that God leaves born again believers here on Earth once they are saved is to glorify Him by identifying and executing the post salvation spiritual life. A Christian can not entertain an "alternative" to Christian marriage and bring glory to God at the same time. Placing a personal relationship of ANY kind on a higher level on one's list of priorities than God or the things of God disqualifies one from the life of discipleship (Luke 14: 26).
James 2: 10 reminds us that if one is guilty of breaking ANY one of God's laws, that person stands as guilty as the one who had broken them ALL. "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all (James 2: 10 (NASB)." In light of the more than 300 "laws" of God found in the New Testament alone, there is not a day that goes by in which we do not sin by what we think, act, or say. Many of thee laws apply directly to the personal relationships we entertain. When (not if) we sin, we do so against God (Psalms 51: 4), and it is with God to whom we must address (1John 1: 9) our sin.
Sexual intercourse is not only a key element of Christian marriage, it is the marital duty of each partner to sexually accommodate one's mate's legitimate sexual expectations (1 Cor. 7: 3-5). There are circumstances and situations where one can not (as opposed to will not) perform sexually.
A premarital (private) discussion on what each one's sexual expectations consists of is one of the ways of determining the couple's sexual compatibility. IF one is not mature enough to conduct such a conversation, he/she is not mature enough for marriage.
Applying the human viewpoint of trying on the pair of shoes before making a purchase to sex clearly runs contrary to what the mind of Christ has to say about Christian marriage. God sees the sin of fornication (sexual intercourse outside of marriage) to be just as sinful as adultery (Heb. 13: 4).
Such arrangements may very well be "good for me", but NOTHING that amounts to sin will ever be "good enough" for an advancing disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ.
In each classification (single, married, separated, divorced, widowed) there are sexual allowances and prohibitions revealed to us in Scripture. Premarital, extramarital, and post-marital sexual intercourse between men and woman is sin (Heb. 13: 4). According to Scripture, sexual intercourse between persons of the same gender is sin (Romans 1: 26, 27/Leviticus 18: 22). Sexual intercourse with an animal is sin (Lev. 18: 23). Accordingly, any marriage or relationship that involves any of the above is outside of what Scripture would classify as a Christian marriage, even if it taking place between two so-called Christians. How so? Because any type of sin taking place within a relationship or marriage is leaving the third Partner (God) out.
Discipleship is a 24-7 lifestyle that sets the standards for advancing disciples no matter where he is or what he is doing.
QUESTION: Can someone sin and still be a Christian? ANSWER: Christians sin every day.
QUESTION: Can a Christian move forward in the plan of God and live in or with known sin that is not confessed (1John 1: 9) and forsaken (John 8: 11)? ANSWER: To walk with God, one must be in intimate fellowship (2Cor. 13: 14) with God the Holy Spirit. God cannot even look on sin ( Hab.1: 13 ), let alone be in fellowship with it or one who chooses to engage in it and not repent. A Christian who will repent (change his mind and behavior) will not lose his/her salvation, but is subject to divine discipline (Heb. 12: 6) here on Earth and loss of some (or all) of the additional rewards (1Cor. 2: 12-15) that the same believer would and could have otherwise received in Heaven.
We ALL have our areas of spiritual strengths and weaknesses. Areas of strength are those areas of our lives where it is relatively easy to apply what the Bible has to say. Areas of weakness are those areas of our lives where we are easily tempted and vulnerable to think, act, or say contrary to Scripture in order to feed the demands of the fallen nature within us (Romans 7). What makes us different is that we do not all have the same areas of strengths or weaknesses. What makes us the same is that we all have our own set of strengths and weaknesses and are in equal need of God's grace (James 2: 10).
There is nothing new about lesbianism or male homosexuality. Satan will endorse ANY activity that undermines the divine structure and purpose for marriage. Family structure not only impacts the individual's personal walk with the Lord (for the better or the worse), but is what establishes a secure and functional society.
Accepting the devil's alternatives denies God the glory that He would otherwise receive, secondly the devil is well aware of the destruction that immorality can have on individuals, families, societies, and a godly nation. Once a believer is out of fellowship with God for ANY reason, he/she is easy pickings for the devil (1Pet. 5: 8).
The straight and narrow way over the wide and broad way has never been an easy path to trod.
Human beings are sexual creatures. Placing one's mental and physical sex life under the control of God the Holy Spirit is an important part in the life of a disciple. Failing to do so can lead to disaster (Gal. 5: 16, 17).
If fornication, adultery, lesbianism or homosexuality are among one's personal areas of weakness, keep in mind that it is NOT a sin to be tempted (Hebrews 4: 15), and that ANY (1Cor. 6: 9 -11) temptation can be overcome as one spiritually matures. God may or may not choose to totally remove the temptation to engage in any one area of sin, but He will give us the power (John 15: 5) to choose not to engage in it. Our daily struggle with the fallen nature does NOT go away just because we have been saved. In fact, the pressure that the fallen nature will apply to our soul structure will increase as one grows in the knowledge (2Pet. 3: 18) and the application (James 1: 22) of the Word of God.
The devil knows what the areas of spiritual weakness are in each one of us and is a master at knowing what buttons to push and when to push them.
Paul, wrote of his personal struggle with the sin nature within himself 30 years after his salvation was secured and towards the end of his post salvation spiritual life here on Earth (Romans 7). The sin nature does not manifest itself the same way in each one of us. What may be a great area of temptation to oneself, is of little interest others. What is a great temptation to others, is of little interest to us. James 2 :10 reminds us that sin is sin and that one's area(s) of sin is no better or worse than another's. We are ALL in the same stinking, sinking boat, and equally in need of salvation. The sins that heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals can CHOOSE to engage in are no exception of the James 2: 10 principle.
The devil's world is right when it says that one's sexual preference is a choice, and that one's sexual orientation can be environmentally conditioned or promoted. But what the devil's world does not go on to say is why, or what the consequences will be when the wrong choices are made. Engaging in promiscuous behavior can, for instance, be an inward desire to be punished for some sin in one's past, as well as to satisfy a desire that one can not seem to secure through other means. Sexual behavior can be a manifestation of a desire to rebel against parental or godly authority. Like any other moral choice, it can be one of the areas in which the fallen nature can manifest itself.
The Biblical solution to ANY post (after) salvation sin, sexual or otherwise, is the same. The activity must be acknowledged for the SIN that it is and that we have chosen to engage in it. That is what the confession spoken of in 1 John 1 : 9 is all about. When the sin has become habitual or one's lifestyle, the ongoing sinful activity must also be forsaken (John 8: 11), if the believer is to move on and forward in the plan of God. Confessing when not coupled with forsaking will cause such a believer to spend much of his post salvation spiritual life in a "revolving doorway", going in and out of fellowship with God and NEVER going forward.
Keep in mind that the confession and forsaking of post salvation sin is NOT for the purpose of restoring or retaining one's salvation, but is for the purpose of re-securing and retaining fellowship (2 Cor. 13: 14) with God the Holy Spirit in order to execute the TRUE post salvation spiritual life.
Forgiveness of sin does NOT mean that there still aren't consequences and resulting issues to be dealt with and endured that, in some cases, can remain in place for the rest of one's life here on Earth. God allows such things as a constant reminder to one involved that one does indeed reap the seeds he/she sows. God uses the discipline that He uses on offenders as a visual teaching aid for others who are contemplating or involved in the same area of sin.
For example, God will always forgive the adulterer who confesses the sin (1John 1: 9), but that does not obligate the innocent party to remain in the marriage, and that remarriage on the part of the adulterer is not an option as long as his/he first mate is alive (Matt. 19: 9/ Matt. 5: 32.
Divorcees in cases where immorality was not the cause for the divorce, disqualifies BOTH partners from the ability to entertain Christian marriage with a new mate as long as one's first spouse is alive (Luke 16: 18). To do so, amounts to adultery.
The "except for immorality" principle of (Matt. 5: 32) that is not found in (Luke 16: 18) is the primary basis for different opinions within the Christian Community concerning the eligibility for remarriage following a divorce. In both cases, the passages concur that marrying a divorced person who was the guilty party (involved in immorality) amounts to adultery. Where Matt. 5: 32 and Luke 16: 18 differ, is that Luke 16: 18 does not include the exception clause found in Matt. 5: 32 that allows the innocent party to remarry.
If taken on its own, Luke 16: 18 would prohibit ANY divorcee from remarriage, as long as the first spouse is alive. Putting both passages side by side and reaching a harmonious conclusion would seem to mean that remarriage after divorce is only permissible if the one who remarries was not the one guilty of adultery during in the first marriage. It can be argued that the absence of an exception clause in the language of Luke 16: 18 does not expressively preclude there being an exception as expressed in Matt. 5: 32.
A believer can (with impunity) physically or legally separate if conditions (physical/mental abuse of partner or children, etc.) warrant it, but sexual activity with and/or remarriage to a new partner is not an option in the eyes of God during the period of separation. A separated Christian is still married in the eyes of God.
Different denominations have developed different policies that reflect BOTH the Luke 16: 18 (no exception) position, and the Matt. 5: 32) position that allows for remarriage under certain conditions. In most cases, it is NOT the divorce, but the eligibility to remarry that is disputed.
One should NEVER favor one denomination over another because its doctrine is more suitable for one's own circumstances. One should be convinced that the doctrine he/she accepts and applies truly reflects the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2: 16). This is most important in situations where one's choice will establish circumstances that can be very difficult to undo if one later determines that a mistake, or worse, a sin has been committed following a false doctrine.
A divorce and remarriage that is granted and approved by the State does not necessarily mean that one has been divorced and eligible for remarriage in the eyes of God.
The proverbial doors to my Internet ministry are open 24-7 to anyone who wishes to "enter" or to make use of it as part or as the primary source of his/her spiritual edification. Never-the-less, I chose NOT file the necessary paperwork with the State in order to make officiating at marriages a part of my internet-based ministry. I made this decision for several reasons.
The first is that, as a duly authorized "agent of the State", I do not want to be placed in a position where I could be compelled to conduct a wedding ceremony between partners that I believe fail to meet the requirements of Christian marriage. By not being so licensed, this eliminates the potential problem that I think is just over the horizon in the times in which we live for those who are so licensed.
Secondly, I am not interested in developing a larger congregation, if in doing so, the only reason that people connect is just to merely obtain the services that traditional ministries commonly offer to their congregants. If I were to serve as a minister in a traditional local assembly, I would have to provide this service. With an Internet ministry, my "congregation" is literally found in all areas of the world where the Internet is available. I am often surprised to read the statistic reports on my website and the privilege of spiritually interacting with so many people around the world in so many different cultures.
At the present time, If I were to include officiating in marriages for the more local people, it would be a major, time consuming, distraction to provide the premarital classes that I would require before marrying anyone. I would further require a minimum one year waiting period, beginning at the conclusion of the premarital classes, before the wedding ceremony was performed. This waiting period, with no premarital sex, would be for the purpose of each partner having the opportunity to really get to know the person he/she THINKS he/she wants to marry. Once one gets involved with the emotions associated with human sexuality, his/her judgment and ability to discern spiritual issues can be greatly compromised, and can lead to irreversible circumstances. Needless to say, there would not be too many people interested.
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Interesting to note, that Mary was found to be with Child after her betrothal (engagement ) to Joseph, but before her marriage to Joseph (Matt. 1: 18). The traditional length of the betrothal period was at least one year prior to the wedding feast. Keeping with tradition and Old Testament Law, Joseph and she had not had sex, prior to or during their (betrothal) engagement period, yet it took an angelic intervention (Matt.1:24) to convince Joseph of Mary's fidelity and the divine involvement and purpose concerning her conception.
They were betrothed (engaged), when Mary conceived what would become the Humanity of the Lord Jesus Christ none months later. Joseph did not take her as his wife after until after he was convinced via an angel of Mary's fidelity and the nature and purpose of the divine humanity that she had conceived. Just when, in the scheme of things, the "wedding" feast (as opposed to the betrothal ceremony) took place is not revealed in Scripture. We do know that as of the time they left for Bethlehem, she was in the final weeks of her pregnancy (Luke 2: 5), and that she gave birth shortly after arriving there. As of the time they had left for Bethlehem (for the tax registration by Joseph), the Gospel of Luke (Luke 2: 5 NASB) lists her status as being betrothed (engaged). Luke 2: 5 (KJV refers to her (at that time) as being Joseph's "espoused" wife.
In both cases, the original Greed word being translated into English is, "m-e-m-n-e-s-t-e-u-m-e-n-e", meaning that she was betrothed (engaged) to be Joseph's wife. IN that day and culture, the engagement ceremony was a binding as the marriage ceremony that followed, usually at least one year later. We do know that the consummation (sexual intercourse) of the marriage of Joseph and Mary did not take place until after the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ (Matt. 1: 25). After engaging in intercourse, Joseph and Mary had at least four sons and two daughters (Mark 6: 3).
Without Joseph bringing a charge of premarital sexual immorality against Mary, or two other witnesses who could testify having been eye-witnesses of Mary fornicating (that did not take place), no charges that could result in the stoning of Mary could be brought. Never the less, I have no doubt that Mary's situation and Joseph's reputation became the talk of the town before Joseph departed with an obviously pregnant Mary, departed and headed for Bethlehem.
Throughout all of this activity, I believe that it was hope of Satan that someone along the way would call for the stoning of Mary, as this would have prevent the coming into the world of the Lamb of God. Mob mentality is seldom interested in serving justice, obtaining all the facts, or listening to any viewpoint that would change their preconceived agenda.
Throughout human history, beginning in the Garden of Eden, the devil has attempted to undermine or to redefine the principles of marriage. In some cases, he has even used the actions of those who stand up for such things (eg. John the Baptist) as the means to eventually attack a believer. There is nothing new about any of Satan's alternatives for the divine design for marriage, but the devil continues to have considerable success by using them in each generation of the Church Age. This was prophesied to especially be true WITHIN THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY at large in the end time of the Church Age dispensation (1 Tim. 4: 1). This has been proven to be the case in the days in which we are living, with some in positions of leadership leading the way.
During the course of their marriage, Joseph and Mary later had four sons and two daughters (Matt. 13: 55), becoming the half- brothers (Gal. 1: 19) and half-sisters of the Humanity of the Lord Jesus Christ (Matt. 13: 55, 56). The humanities of these half-brothers and sisters of the Lord Jesus Christ were conceived in the normal fashion by Mary and Joseph, and like the humanities of Mary (Luke 1: 47) and Joseph, received the sin nature that is passed down at conception (Psalms 51: 5). This was NOT the case of the humanity of the Lord Jesus Christ, whose humanity was conceived via the Spirit of God, enabling Him (alone) to become the spotless Lamb of God (John 1: 29).
Before the public ministry of the Lord Jesus Christ took place, Joseph had been taken Home to be with the Lord. I believe that this was due, in part, because Joseph's part in the divine plan was to logistically support, protect, and to preserve the Humanity of the Lord Jesus Christ. This would have made it especially hard for Joseph to continue to do so in light of all that was to take place in the last days of the Earthly life of the Lord Jesus Christ.
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I chose to handle the doctrine of Christian Marriage in the same manner as all other doctrines, in that I present ALL of the relevant Scripture on ANY given subject, and leave the rejection or acceptance of it as a private matter between each believer and the Lord.
If one has ANY serious doubts about entering into ANY marriage, the best response to a proposal for marriage is. " Not right now." Better to wait and be sure than to rush into a marriage only to find out it was not the wise to have done. The legitimacy of one's marriage, lifestyle, and sexual conduct goes hand in hand with one's ability to execute the true post salvation spiritual life.
How so? One will not be in fellowship (2Cor. 13: 14) with God when engaged in an ongoing activity that God's Word has identified as sin. IF one is not in fellowship with God, he/she will be heavily influenced by the fallen nature within all of us (Romans 7). This fallen nature is hostile towards God and the things of God, and is not conducive to producing divine good.
Fear of being alone; the desire to establish and raise a family; being overwhelmed in the capacity of a single parent; the natural desire for sexual satisfaction; and the desire for human interaction can place a lot of pressure on a single person to seek a new relationship. The devil who prowls around with the intent of destroying the pursuit of our spiritual life (1 Pet. 5: 8), knows when we are most vulnerable.
"Immorality", as perceived during the Old Testament (Deut. 24: 1) dispensation that was still in view as of the 1st century AD, could involve finding out that one's wife was not a (sexual) virgin when she married, as well as any acts of her adultery after the marriage takes place. One of the reasons that the Lord Jesus Christ likely reiterated the permanency of marriage, was that the option of divorce had become so widely abused by so many that Deut. 24: 1 bills of divorce were being written and apparently approved for the most trivial of issues that far exceeded the intended purpose of the Deut. 24: 1 option.
Both Old testament, and later, Christian marriage were designed to be a life-long commitment. Even is cases of immorality, the preferred choice was and remains to be reconciliation.
Here in the Church Age, premarital or post marital fornication or extramarital sex on the part of either the man or the woman amounts to a violation of Heb. 13: 4.
Widowed and divorced persons return to the sexual prohibitions of a single person (Heb. 13: 4).
Widowed Christians are taught that if they choose to remarry, they should only do so with another eligible Christian (1 Cor. 7: 39).
Needless to say, this is not a popular teaching in the day and age in which we live, but nor was it popular in the day in which it was taught by the Lord Jesus Christ almost 2,000 years ago (Matt. 19: 10). The Biblical requirements and post divorce restrictions of Christian marriage are such that one is well advised to take a good look down the challenging (1 Cor. 7: 28) road of matrimony before choosing to tread there.
Some contend that the Biblical prohibition against remarriage on the part of the guilty partner is no longer valid IF the innocent party in the first marriage later chooses to marry someone else. Some understand () to mean that remarriage to another person is permissible if the first marriage ended when an unbelieving (non-Christian) partner wanted out. While the divorce is valid, I do not see this (in either scenario) as being a Biblical green light to remarry (Luke 16: 18). It is my interpretation of Scripture that only death or a divorce on the basis of immorality can end a Christian marriage. Until one's present marriage has ended, marrying another mate amount to adultery.
In many jurisdictions, the laws of Man allow for remarriage as long as the first marriage ended in divorce, regardless on what grounds the marriage was granted. Christian marriage holds Christians before, during, and after marriage to a much higher standard of accountability than do the laws of Man.
Without forgiveness, NO marriage can prosper. Forgiving others is NOT an option for a Christian. Forgiveness does not, in itself, mean that reconciliation must take place. God hates divorce (Malachi 2: 16). Whenever possible (sometimes it is not), reconciliation and not divorce is the preferred resolution to a marriage in trouble. Those considering divorce, should take into consideration all that being a divorced person will mean to them and to any children involved. Children can easily become pawns in the ensuing conflicts between parents, only adding to all they already will have to deal with if the parent(s) decide to divorce. No matter who was more responsible for the divorce, both parties will forever be the father or mother of the children involved. Only those who have been placed between two people they love can relate to the pain that such conflicts inevitable create.
In most cases, it is not the confessing (acknowledging that one has sinned) requirement of God (1 John 1: 9) that is so hard to do. This is especially true once one realizes that he/she would not be telling God anything that He does not already know, and that God has already made it clear what His response to confession (forgiveness) will be. It is when the forsaking part (John 8: 11) of the process calls for one to conform an existing marriage or relationship to the requirements of Christian marriage (Heb. 13: 4) that the real test of one's commitment to discipleship (Luke 14: 26) will be put to the test.
A Christian disciple does NOT get to decide what doctrines he/she will learn and/or apply (James 2: 10). As was stated earlier, the Scripture that applies to Christian marriage applies to every believer. The Doctrine of Christian marriage addresses the sexual do's and don'ts in every status (single, living together, married, separated, divorced, separated) of human relationships.
Some religions, human viewpoint, and secular government offer ways to circumvent the unyielding principles of Christian marriage. These situations contribute to making such alternatives legally permissible and socially accepted, but such things are not going to float in the Court of Heaven. How we "feel" about any given issue, or what the laws of Man, apart from God, requires or permits here on Earth will not be of issue when the post salvation spiritual life of born again believers are evaluated in the Court of Heaven (1 Cor. 3: 12-15).
Scripture offers no other solutions but those of 1 John 1: 9 (confession to God) and John 8: 11 (forsaking the sin) to address ANY form of post (after) salvation sin. For many, like the rich man of (Matt. 19: 21, 22), the cost of discipleship is more than what many "Christians" are willing to entertain. For the rich man of(Matt. 19: 21, the issue was his money. For many more, it is their personal relationships that run contrary to the, "...mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2: 16 NASB)." God will not share His place on one's list of priorities. with anyone or any thing! Eve had been deceived (1Tim. 2: 14), but Adam knew what eating of the fruit would mean. Adam chose his relationship with his wife over his relationship with God (Gen. 3: 17). We all know how that worked out!
"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate (love less) his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be My disciple (Luke 14: 26 NASB/italics mine)."
Secular government, "religion", and cultural tradition have engineered their own version of the requirements and procedure(s) in order for a couple to be considered "married".
In the eyes of Man's law, one becomes legally married, and thereby legally bound to the civil laws of marriage, as of the point in time when both parties comply with the secular law(s) of the land concerning marriage. In modern times, this generally consists of legally obtaining a marriage license and having a qualified person (ordained clergyman/judge/justice of the peace) with the legal authority to officiate, conduct a marriage ceremony.
Most Bible scholars concur that a marriage has been initiated in the eyes of God as of the point in time in which each partner mutually acknowledges each other as becoming his wife and her husband, f-o-l-l-o-w-e-d by the consummating of the marriage via sexual intercourse (Gen. 2: 24). Christian marriage has its roots in Old Testament Scripture, and is reiterated in New Testament Scripture that continues to address the subject for believers of the Church Age.
The dispensation of the Church Age does NOT end until what theologians have labelled the "Rapture" (1 Thess. 4: 15-17 )takes place Until then, ALL (Matt. 5: 18) of the details of Scripture that pertains to Christian Marriage remain in force, no matter how "old fashioned" or "politically incorrect" such principles may become here in the devil's world.
Most religion and cultures have developed some kind of wedding ceremony in which the mutual acknowledgement of husband and wife takes place, usually in conjunction with the officiating requirement of either ordained clergy or legally qualified person as in the case of civil law. Various "religious" sub-groups within the Christian Community at large have differing viewpoints as to when, short of death, a marriage can come to an end, and under what circumstances a divorced believer can entertain Christian Marriage in the future. Some of these "differing" viewpoints can be Biblically substantiated, others simply can not.
While not prescribing any specific ceremony or procedure for "weddings", the Bible makes it clear that sexual intercourse prior acknowledging each other as being husband and wife amounts to the sin of fornication. Extramarital sexual intercourse with anyone other than with the ONE that Scripture acknowledges as one's husband or wife, amounts to adultery.
Marrying when "otherwise" divorced, or marrying someone who has been "otherwise" divorced" amounts to adultery. "Otherwise" divorced means that one was/is divorced, but not as the result of adultery having taken place in the previous marriage.
Polygamy, simultaneously having more than one wife, was practiced by many Old Testament Biblical characters, and has been an accepted lifestyle in many different religious and political environments. It is interesting to note that although polygamy allows for one man to have several wives, the same option is not afforded to women. In polygamy, the one husband remains the one in the position of martial authority.
Technically, sexual intercourse between one husband multiple wives (one at a time) does not constitute fornication nor adultery. To be accurately labelled fornication, the sex act has to involve persons who are not married to each other. To labelled adultery, the sex act has to involve a having sex with a person who is not one's husband/wife. Under the umbrella of polygamy, all parties are married, and no one is having sex with anyone who is not their acknowledged husband or wife.
I do not advocate polygamy.
The personal and spiritual lives of many of the men (e.g., Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon) who engaged in polygamy (or who produced perspective heirs via concubines) proved to be disastrous. Polygamy can trigger rivalry, competition, jealousy, hatred, and conspiracies within the home. Resulting inheritance disputes as descendants of Abraham remain to be one of the primary reasons for political and religious unrest that have and will continue to dominate international affairs in the Middle East.
In the times in which we live, many secular jurisdictions will not issue a marriage license for a future marriage as long as either one of the applicants are still "married" to someone else, as secular law defines marriage. Most clergyman within the Christian Community at large will not officiate over a "wedding" for which a valid secular marriage license has not been first obtained. This in itself eliminates polygamy as an option is the majority of jurisdictions that regulate secular marriage.
Like divorce, I believe that polygamy is a deviation from the divine design for marriage. God removed ONE rib and created ONE woman for Adam; not a harem!
Scripture (1 Cor. 7: 28) teach that being married to one wife presents challenges to the execution of the true post salvation spiritual life, let alone adding more to the mix.
Annulments involve having a marriage declared invalid from the get go, and therefore not binding. There are civil and religious annulments. The grounds for obtaining a civil annulment vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Generally speaking, civil annulments refer to cases of representation or lack the legal standing of one or both parties who entertained the illegal marriage.
A Roman Catholic can seek a religious annulment that would then allow him/her, being a divorcee, to entertain a a new marriage with someone else after completing the annulment procedure.
It is of my opinion, that annulments, like divorce and polygamy, is a deviation from the divine plan that God designed. Annulments are NOT to be used as the means to circumvent the requirements and restrictions that God intended for marriage or remarriage to entail. If any relationship is ruled invalid (annulled), would that not make any mutual sexual intercourse that took place during the relationship an act of fornication?
Many secular laws concerning marriage, separation, divorce, and especially remarriage differ from the Biblically documented principles of Christian marriage.
As far as Christian marriage is concerned, divorce can be granted for a variety of legitimate reasons, but the issue gets complicated should a divorced Christian desire to marry a new mate. Remarriage is ONLY the option of the innocent party (the one not involved in sexual immorality) in a previous marriage, and only then if the guilty party had engaged in sexual immorality that resulted in the divorce. Divorced persons, whose marriage did not end as a result of act of adultery on the part of one's former mate, can not then marry a new mate. Marrying a divorced person whose divorce was not the result of sexual immorality amounts to adultery.
The sanctity of Christian marriage can be a real challenge to single, married, separated, divorced, or widowed believers who are of an age when sexual desires are a natural part of being a human being. God's warning, however, could not be any clearer that it was expressed in Heb. 13: 4.
"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators (premarital sex) and adulterers
(extramarital sex) God will judge." (Heb. 13: 4 NASB/italics mine)."
The "judgment" may not come in the form or manner that one might expect (Isa. 55: 8, 9), but no one gets away with anything (Gal. 6: 7). Judgement from God can come fast and swift (Acts 5), but many times the divine discipline (Heb. 12: 6) that God imposes is simply let the inevitable consequences of our choices plays themselves out over the course of time. Sometimes our self-induced misery is the most painful to endure, leaving no one to blame other than the one we face in the mirror every day.
The TRUE post salvation spiritual life is not always to do what comes natural to the advancing disciple, but to choose to do what God desires him/her to do with the enabling power (John 15: 5) of God. It is when we are challenged in the areas of where we are spiritually weak and most vulnerable that the pressure of spiritual combat (Eph. 6: 12) will be most heavily experienced.
Scripture (1 Cor. 7: 4, 5) speaks about placing our married mates in harms way concerning sexual temptations and opportunities.
Thank God that failure in marriage does not jeopardize either the eligibility to receive or to retain salvation. Never-the-less, it is NOT an issue to be taken lightly. Even in the secular world, the first thing that a wise supervisor will ask when one's performance on the job diminishes is if there is there is illness or if something gone wrong at home.
Premarital, marital, and post marital issues can greatly diminish, impede, and interfere with the production of divine good that glorifies God in the course of the believers' post salvation spiritual lives.
Any sin, including fornication and adultery, that has not been confessed (1 John 1: 9) and/or forsaken (John 8: 11) takes and keeps the saved believer out of fellowship (2 Cor. 13: 14) with God. As long as one remains out of fellowship with God, he/she remains saved but is not in the right frame of mind to execute the TRUE post salvation spiritual life. Post salvation sin that has not been confessed/forsaken invites divine discipline (Heb. 12: 6). When out of fellowship with God, the believer is under the influence of the fallen nature that is "hostile (Romans 8: 7)" towards God and the things of God. This hidden hostility becomes evidence when one "explodes" in response to someone sharing a point of doctrine that would suggest correction on the part of the wayward believer. During periods of the post salvation spiritual life that we spend (waste) out of fellowship with God, there is NO production of "divine good". This results in the loss of some of the eternal rewards that he/she would have otherwise receive in Heaven.
For an advancing disciple, a life that does not glorify God is no life at all, and is in itself enough to motivate him/her to confess and forsake sin.
While divorce (except on the grounds of adultery) is NOT an option, there are many other reasons that Christians may separate and live apart. Such reasons include physical abuse, verbal abuse, child molestation, non-support, drug/alcohol abuse. Separated partners can not engage in sexual intimacy with a third parties.
There is a school of thought that contends when a marriage ends in divorce in which there was no adultery, and then one of the divorced parties remarry a new spouse (amounting to adultery), the other spouse in the first divorce is then free to remarry, being the "innocent" party in adultery. This argument is based on the fact that although the first marriage that was terminated by the laws of Man (without adultery being an issue), such a divorce and remarriage amounts to adultery on the part of the one who re-marries first, opening the door of opportunity for the other party in the first marriage to remarry. This viewpoint is accepted in some areas of the Christian Community applying the Matt. 5: 32 exception , and is rejected by others, primarily on the basis of Luke 16: 18 .
Sound doctrinal teachings on this subject will upset many individuals, Christian and non-Christians alike, who have chosen to engage in alternative behaviors, or entertain relationship structures, and living arrangements that run contrary to what the, "...mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2: 16 (NASB)" has to say concerning these matters.
Marriage is one of the divine institutions that God established for the stability of society and the continuation of the human race for as long as the human race inhabits the Earth in its present form. The pre-marital, marital, and post-marital restraints and privileges is one of the things that (should) distinguish the human being from the other natural beings with whom we share the planet.
"Christian" marriage is for Christians who, as advancing disciples, desire to conform EVERY area of their post salvation spiritual life to the "likeness" or the "mind of Christ 1 Cor. 2: 16. The "mind of Christ" is how God views any given subject.
Marriage in general is a mixed bag of happiness and adversity. "Christian" marriage, without the enabling power of God, is humanly impossible (John 15: 5) to execute. There are requirements of Christian marriage that both men (authority) and woman (obedience) will find extremely difficult to execute when the pressure gets too great. Even the more patient, passive, and tolerant among us can come to the point where enough is enough and battle begins.
Grease (human viewpoint) and water (divine viewpoint) do not mix. One can stir up a concoction of water and grease up and for a while have it give the appearance of coexistence in the same glass, but in time will self-separate. In the same way, two married partners can choose to establish a relationship or marriage that "works for them", but will not be the kind of marriage through which God is glorified.
According to Scripture, non-Christians and/or Christians who are out of fellowship with God , lack the divine enabling power of God John 15: 5) to do ANYTHING in the spiritual realm, let alone something as challenging as Christian marriage.
The first two questions that should be asked in preparation for Christian marriage classes are these. For the man, "Are you prepared to be the spiritual leader in the home, taking on all the responsibility and accountability documented in Scripture that comes along with that position?" For the woman, "Are you prepared to obey your husband in ALL matters?
Christian bookstores and many sermons are replete with Christian "how to" material addressing such things as marriage, but when failing to emphasize the all-important necessity of doing so with the enabling (John 15: 5) power of God, such human efforts only set the stage for failure at the point of execution. This comes to light when the, "I've tried that.", response is given when offering spiritual guidance to believers who are involved with a marriage that is headed for or on the rocks.
Christian marriage is a three-way partnership, with God being the boss. When "Christian" marriage fails, it is because one or both of the human partners left God or the things of God out of the relationship. If only ONE of the human partners places all marital issues under the guidance and control of God the Holy Spirit, the marriage, as far as being a Christian marriage, will fail. Both human partners have to have an understanding of what their individual roles are. Granted, two people can leave God out and come to a mutual agreement as to how their alternate relationship is to function, but the subject here is Christian Marriage, where there are NO alternatives to the design that God has laid out in Scripture.
The first step in preparing or establishing a "Christian" marriage is to secure an understanding of one's OWN role in the relationship. When (not if) things go wrong, the first thing that a Christian mate who desires to restore and/or retain a Christian Marriage is to conduct a 2Cor. 13: 5 SELF examination to determine where he/she needs to make corrections. There is usually enough blame to go around for both sides to address.
In doing so, one might THEN see clear enough (Luke 6: 42) to adequately address the mutual issues that need to be identified and corrected. Reconciliation is not going to take place without genuine forgiveness, and genuine forgiveness is not going to take place without the enabling John 15:5 power to do so. Placing issues on the back burner for momentary peace, only to bring the issues forward again at a later time, is NOT genuine forgiveness.
One cannot function in agape (unconditional) love and still have an axe to grind (the need to make a point) at the same time. If after truly applying the relevant doctrines to the situation, and it then calls for a separation and/or divorce, at least you can do so knowing that you have done everything within your means to keep the vows you made to the divine (God) partner in the relationship.
The fallen nature is self-centered and inherently 'hostile (Romans 7: 8 NASB) towards God and the things of God. Christian marriage is one of the things of God. Accordingly, non-Christians or Christians out of fellow with God are NOT "naturally" inclined to function in the capacity of either a "Christian" husband or a "Christian" wife.
The fallen nature in us will have us feign love, but only for the secret motivation of obtaining a self-centered objective through deceitful manipulation. Faked love becomes evident as soon as what was desired does not materialize. Agape love does what it does rather it is reciprocated or not. BOTH the true lover and the one who only wants to seek his/her own pleasure will say, "I love you!" One is a liar.
There are many definitions and types of love, but "agape" love (required for Christian marriage) can be best measured by the extent that one places the needs and desires of his/her spouse above his/her own.
Love for self, spouse, or any thing must never take priority over love for God ( Luke 14: 26 ). In Christian marriage, this should never an issue. But, if a Christian is placed in a position that he/she must choose between honoring (through obedience) God and seeking the fellowship of his/her wife/husband, or family, God is to be honored.
Note that it was, in part, that Adam listened to the voice of his wife (Gen. 3: 17) over the voice of God who had given him specific instructions, that God disciplined Adam (Gen. 3:17) and brought the principle of toilsome labor (for men) into the human environment for males.
Females, in the name of "liberation", in more recent history have joined and sought equality in the work force, only to learn that they have also taken on the accompanying Adamic curse (toilsome labor) that goes along with it, as if the curse placed on women (Gen. 3: 16) after the fall were not enough.
I am one of exceptions that can say that I truly loved the labor of my secular profession of 30 years. Most people I know either hate their job, or at best, tolerate it as the means for the financial benefits and necessities that it provides. Toilsome labor is the Adamic general curse that the actions of Adam brought to male members of the human race, and has been adopted, or by circumstances, been forced upon many women, as well. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but as I see it, the "liberated" woman and the society that it produced lost a lot more than there was to be gained.
As in the case of Adam, God prepares the place (Gen. 2:8) and assigned the temporal (Gen. 2: 15) and spiritual (1Cor. 12) work that each one of us is called to do. This work can take place at home (Titus 2: 5), out in the world (2Cor. 5: 20), or both. The primary spiritual purpose of one's secular profession, career, labor, or domestic chores is to provide the place where each and every believer is to fulfill the individual divine purposes that he/she has been assigned by God. God also, right from the beginning, provided the man with a helpmate to provide company and the means for the human face to continue. In the plan of God, the roles that God assigned to the male husband and the female wife complimented (not competed with) each other.
Note that one of the first consequences that both Adam and Eve encountered was being kicked out of the place (Garden) where Adam has enjoyed his labor, and the woman enjoyed the relationship she had with Adam as his helpmate. From that point on, the work of the man was to be toilsome, and the woman would encounter a relationship of subordination.
Man has been trying to reverse the curse placed on men and women ever since.
Implying there is something "better" out there (Gen. #: 5) has been the devil's bait from the very beginning. The devil has a long history of suggesting improvements and of offering and even providing much to anyone (Luke 4: 5,6) in order to serve his own purposes. Among his "purposes" is to deny God as much glory as he can and to destroy (1Pet. 5: 8) the post salvation spiritual life of anyone who chooses to live a godly life (2Tim. 3: 12).
Here in America, what began as "extra" money that a working wife and mother provided, has now become a financial necessity if the "improved" home that the devil designed is to be established and maintained.
In "Christian" marriage, the husband is the one who has the final say in ALL matters (Eph. 5: 22-24). A wise Christian husband will always give an ear to what a godly (godly = one who has the mind of Christ) wife and the mother of his children has to say. Never-the-less, there are times when he must also be wise enough to say, "No!" (Gen. 3: 17) and take the heat that comes along with being the one in charge.
The one and only time a Christian wife can disobey her Christian husband is when obeying her husband would cause her to sin against God.
Abusing the authority that God gives in ANY capacity is a terrible sin. The same epistle (Letter to the Ephesians) that reiterates the Old Testament (Gen. 3: 16) principle of marital authority for the Church age, also commands the husband to, "...love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Eph. 5: 25 NASB)." One of the consequences for not treating one's wife as one should is "hindered" prayers (1 Pet. 3: 7).
In any functional unit, especially in times of great stress, there has to be ONE final source of authority whose decisions and instructions MUST be obeyed. Shared or equal authority among partners does not provide for this.
We could debate forever why God chose to make the husband the head of the home that He designed, or why He chose to place men in leadership positions in the Church that He designed, but this would not change the facts that He did just that. The standards that God revealed in Scripture for the structure and functional authority in both the home and the Church are for the duration of the ENTIRE dispensation of the Church Age. The (Gal. 3: 28) passage speaks of gender equality as it pertains to salvation. This is not to be construed to cancel out the gender specific plan for the leadership roles within either the home or the local assemblies of the Church.
The Church Age began at the Feast of Pentecost in Jerusalem shortly after our Lord's ascension, and remains in place until the Rapture (1 Thess. 4: 15 -17) takes place. Accordingly, Scripture that outlines the leadership roles in the home and in the Church have been established for the duration of the Church Age .
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"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one or love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other. You (individually or as a married couple) cannot serve God and mammon (money/materialism)."Matt. 6: 24 NASB italics/mine.
Sad to say, but in the Christian Community at large, many marriages on based on financial and materialistic expectations.
There is nothing wrong with an advancing disciple (single or married) seeking and then enjoying legitimate earthly prosperity (3 John 1: 2 ). There IS, however, everything wrong when the desire for, or actually obtaining money (or the things that money can buy) exceeds one's desire to seek God and/or things of God. Christian marriage is one of the "things" of God. For an advancing disciple, having a "Christian" marriage that honors and glorifies Christ is more important than all the financial and materialism that the alternative forms of marriage can offer.
It's no secret that one can financially prosper a lot sooner and acquire much more temporal wealth by doing things via "the way of the devil's world" than the same one is ever likely to obtain by living according to the, "mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2: 16)." True discipleship IS going to cost you something in EVERY area of one's life. A "little" here, and a "half" truth there will work "wonders" here in the devil's world. If we can compromise and rationalize dishonesty in the "little", day to day incidents of life, we will not be honest in the bigger issues either. God is just as glorified (or dishonored) in the presence of unseen angels, fallen and elect, by how we CHOOSE to handle "little" things, as He is when making major decisions in life. For an advancing disciple, NOTHING that impacts the glory of God can be considered "little".
In the ungodly society that has evolved here in the USA, it can be a real challenge for many believers to be truly content with what they do have (Phil. 4: 11-13) when we take our eyes off the road ahead of the TRUE post salvation spiritual life, and begin to take note of all that the devil's world has to offer those who are willing to dance to the devil's tune.
It is easy to be content when life is going our way, but believers are called to be content in whatever circumstances one finds him/herself. An advancing disciple will always be content as long as he/she knows that his/her present circumstances is where God wants him/her to be in the course of his/her post salvation spiritual life.
"Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in ANY and EVERY circumstances I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, BOTH of having abundance and of suffering need (Phil. 4: 12 NASB)."
Just because someone's marriage is being "blessed", does not mean that the blessings are necessarily coming from God. The production of human good and services has its own rewards, here on Earth, that can be received by believers and unbelievers alike. The devil has a l-o-n-g history of offering, and in some cases delivering, what the world considers great fortune to those who are willing to dance to the devil's tune. What he fails to mention that there will come a day when one must pay the fiddler.
Believers who choose to entertain Christian marriage may or may not find themselves to be the recipients of much temporal blessings, regardless of what the "name it and claim it" type of preachers have to say. Just as in the case of single believers, following the plan that God has may involve the lifestyle (financially) equal to the rich and famous. It may also call for a life of relative poverty in a 3rd world environment, or in most cases somewhere in the middle of these two extremes.
Regardless of where one's individual or Christian marriage takes the believer, faithfulness to God will result in them being called great in the world to come (Matt. 5: 19).
"...whoever keeps and teaches them (the commands/principles of God), he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven ( Matt. 5: 19 NASB italics mine)." Note that the reverse is also true! "Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and so teaches others, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven (Matt. 5: 19 NASB)."
"Teachers", in this passage, is not just making reference to pastor-teachers. It is making reference to EACH and every BELIEVER, who "teaches" those who observe them every day, Each one of us, by our example either teaches the ways of the world or the ways of God (1 Cor. 2: 16/Isa. 55: 8). One of best ways that an advancing disciple ''teaches" others the ways of God is by his/her own living example. How well (or not) one executes "Christian" marriage will NOT go unnoticed by the human and angelic (1 Cor. 11: 10) observers all around us.
"Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels (1Cor. 11: 10 NASB)."
In the day and age in which we are living, the best symbol of authority that a Christian wife can display is not so much her choice of head gear in Church, but her submission to the authority of her husband. This submission honors both God and the husband. Mothers deserve the respect of her children, but "shoot themselves in the foot" when they themselves show disrespect or contempt for the authority her husband, the father of the children involved. If Ma can circumvent the one is authority in the home, why can't the kids?
Regarding the angelic observers referenced in 1 Cor. 11, very few Biblical Commentaries seem to get this right. Some offer some real "off the wall" explanations. The fact that angels observe human behavior is a part of the Angelic Conflict into which, and primarily for which, the human race was created in the first place. No doubt, the marriage environment is an area where walking the walk is much harder that talking the talk and the devil and/or his angels are there to watch us fall!
All of the angels, prior to the rebellion led by Satan, lived in the presence of God. The knowledge of the existence and of the identity of the one true God was never an issue for the angels. The angels, like the humans to be later created, were given free will in which each one of them had to choose between remaining true to God and things of God or to follow Satan. Satan chose to rebel and attempted to establish his own kingdom, independently of God (Isa. 14: 13). The cities of this fallen kingdom were set up on Earth at a time that "no man was found", having not yet been created. The "cities" of this kingdom were pulled down by God Jer. 4: 23, causing the surface of the Earth to become formless and void (Compare Jer. with Gen. 1: 2). It was on this same Earth that God restored and prepared for the occupation of the human race at the appointed time. The primary purpose for the creation of Man and being placed HERE on this Earth, was to glorify by God by choosing to honor Him in the presence of the fallen angels who observe human history.
The revolt failed, and the devil and the angels who had followed him were sentenced to spending all of eternity in the lake of fire that has already been prepared (Matt. 25: 41) to receive them. The sentence has not and will not be carried out, however, until the appointed time (Rev. 20: 10 ) that coincides with the end of the human environment, as we know it to be today.
In the meantime, among other things, members of the angelic realm observe the daily activity of the human race. Humans do not have the experiential evidence of Heaven that the angles had, but are called to choose for God or face a similar future in the same lake of fire (Rev. 20: 15). The fact humans can choose to place their faith in God and in the things of God WITHOUT having the heavenly experience as did the angels, affords the human soul the opportunity to brings greater glory to God than angels.
To provide the human race with real choices, God allows the devil and his evil forces (Ephesians 6: 12) awaiting the lake of fire to engage in spiritual combat with the souls of the human race. This spiritual combat does not (for the most part) involve any of the activity promoted in the horror films of our day, but involves presenting "alternative" thoughts and actions that run contrary to the mind of Christ. These alternatives DO appeal to the fallen nature (Romans 7:8) in ALL of us.
When humans choose for God and the things of God, He is glorified. When humans choose otherwise, God is denied the glory that He would have otherwise received. In the Church Age dispensation in which WE are presently living, "choosing for God" BEGINS with believing in a presentation of the TRUE Gospel Message, and continues on by learning and applying post salvation doctrine throughout the course of one's post salvation spiritual life.
Knowing how difficult the challenge of genuine Christian marriage can be, I have no doubt that it is in the marital environment that angels get the most insight into rather or not those who claim to be Christians walk the walk as well as they talk the talk.
Click HERE to go to Christian Marriage Part Two
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