(Continued from Part One...)
The devil, "...prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour (1Pet. 5: 8 NASB),' but the devil does not have the omnipresence (being everywhere and anywhere at the same time) nor the omniscience (all knowledge) that God has. Scripture teach that the devil does have a well structured and organized spiritual force (Eph. 6: 12) that interacts with humans. The purpose of a recon (recognizance) mission is to enter into enemy occupied territory to gather intelligence (information) for future attack. the of a godly man/woman is a "hot spot" for such satanic recognizance (Bok of Job) and angelic (1Cor. 11: 10) observation.
Whenever a soul is advancing in his/her walk with God, he/she appears on the devil's "radar screen".
At some point, the advancing disciple inevitably becomes a "target of interest" worthy of diabolical attack. For any given ministry or an individual believer to seldom be the target of satanic attack does not speak well of the fruit (if any) being produced. The same can be said for those who desire to engage in Christian marriage, having the critical part that is plays in one's post salvation critical life. Its not so much marriage in general, as the devil is well aware of the contribution that marriage makes to the stability of the various nations within his domain (Luke 4: 6). It is the glory that a Christian marriage brings to God that the devil hates.
The devil (1 Pet. 5: 9) and his forces of evil (Eph. 6: 12) learn what buttons to push and when to push them for maximum effect. The devil, and those (John 8: 44/Ephesians 6: 12) who do his bidding (John 8: 44), learn when and where we, as individuals and as a couple, are most vulnerable. According to Biblically indicators, the devil has had 7,000 to 9,000 years of experience deceiving Man with a track record of considerable success (Rev. 12: 9).
For some believers, the devil's counterattack will come in the form of distraction(s) is ways in which human viewpoint would perceive it to be great blessings and opportunities (Luke 4: 6). For others, who have the spiritual discernment to see the baited hook, the diabolical attacks will come in the form of intense adversity. For most of us, it will be a blend of two extremes. The devil is a master at knowing what buttons (adversity vs. prosperity) to press and when to press them for maximum effect.
For me, I concede that marriage and family issues have always been my personal greatest area of spiritual challenge. In order for a Christian marriage to be entertained, it requires the individual submission of both the husband and the wife to the design that God established for marriage. Especially in the apostate times in which we are living, neither the role of the Christian husband/father or the Christian wife/mother is going to be easy. The devil has had great success in redesigning "marriage".
As for people, my general perception is that (pardon the expression) people suck. Thank God there are exceptions, but for the most part, event the good that Man does, he does so with the motivation of self gain or promotion. Having had a thirty year career in law enforcement, the Biblical principle of rottenness in the human being from head to toe (Isa. 1: 6) has proven to be general rule of thumb. If one has trouble trying to comprehend the grace of God, all he has to do is to keep in mind that it was when we were all sinners, that God chose to die for us (Romans 5: 8) to offer us hope.
We, as an individual husband or wife may desire to glorify God in this area of our lives, but we have NO control over the spiritual choices that our spouses may make. Alternative arrangements can be agreed upon to make the home life more harmonious (between the man an wife), but the spiritual life of an advancing disciple is headed for the rocks if God (or the things of God) are left out of the mix. When such arrangements are contrary to God's design, He is denied the glory that Christian marriage would have otherwise brought to Him. Alternative marriages, relationships, or "arrangements" or "activities" within a marriage or relationships), disqualifies one from the life of discipleship (Luke 14: 26). Being disqualified from the life of discipleship is "no biggie" for one who has never been there in the first place, but it will prove to be like being a fish out of water to an advancing disciple.
* * *
The head covering (in Church) issue of 1 Cor. 11 boils downs to the willingness (or lack of it) of the wives in the Corinthian Church at that time to publicly display a symbol of her submission to the marital authority of her husband. Scarce teaching, in favor of "political correctness" on this subject has all but removed this practice "covering" throughout most of the Christian Community at large, but the real issue behind it (respect of marital authority) remains to be a primary target of the devil.
The devil is winning the battle in this regard in America. Many of the changes that we are experiencing as a nation is what these changes have produced.
One of the reasons that America rose to become the nation that it was is for the completion of the evangelistic half of the Great Commission. At least at one time, 90% of the funding for programs that promote the Gospel were coming from people (not the government) of the United States. When peoples of foreign lands hear of the changes that are taking place in family structure (and the society that it is producing), they are turned off to listening to the Gospel that comes from such a people.
As goes the family structure, so goes the nation. Without authority, chaos is the result. Equal authority means that no one is in charge. With no one in charge, ALL issues become open for debate. I wise man will take into serious consideration the advice of a godly wife. There are times however, when the husband/father is called to say NO! to the ones (wife, children) who are under his authority (Gen. 3: 17). Except for when compliance with marital/parental authority would cause one to sin, it is the function of a Christian wife (and children) to obey the marital parental authority in the home. I have no issues with BOTH the husband and the wife sharing in the division of labor, but the ultimate responsibilities and accountabilities that God has placed on both the husband and the wife have NOT changed.
I have no issues about equality for women outside of the marriage and/or the Church. I promote the Christian concepts as far as how wives are to be treated by the one in charge (Eph. 5: 25). But like it or lump it, God placed the male partner in the position of authority in both Christian Marriage (Eph. 5: 22-24) and in the Church (1 Cor. 14: 34) that He designed.
"...not the smallest letter or stroke (finest detail) shall pass away from the Law (or Church Age Doctrine) until all is accomplished (Matt. 5: 18 NASB italics mine." As long as the Church Age is in progress, the laws of God concerning the Church and Christian Marriage are still in force, regardless of what all the "political correctness" has to otherwise say. The Church Age began at the Feast of Pentecost around 33-34 AD and does not end until the Rapture (1Thess. 5: 17) takes place.
Temporal blessings and material possessions, regardless of where they came from, are ALL left behind and belong to someone else the second one breathes his/her last breath here on Earth. The world may have been impressed with all the "stuff" that an alternatives to Christian marriage, but God to whom we must given an account (Romans 14: 10) is NOT. In fact, ALL that one receives as a result of the production of human (vs. divine) good will add up to no more than fuel for the fire at the 1 Cor. 3: 12-15 evaluation and rewarding of deeds.
On the other hand, God is not opposed to prosperity that is honestly obtained (3John 1: 2). God is not impressed with self-induced hardship.
If given the choice, no one holding to man viewpoint would choose adversity over pleasure, sacrifice over prosperity. Never-the-less, if a believer would not be just as content in his/her soul in a small apartment, being relatively poor, without a car, unemployed, disabled, sexually dysfunctional, as he/she would be in a big house, with several cars, lucrative career(s), healthy, and sexually active, then such a believer has no idea about what discipleship and/or Christian marriage is all about.
Even the best marriages are going to be challenging. The requirements of Christian marriage make it even harder.
The self-centeredness of the fallen nature will motivate one to propose
ristians are NOT going to get as far "ahead" (as human viewpoint views getting ahead) here in the devil's worldas he/she would likely get by living in accordance with the ways of the world. The "prosperity" of wicked has been a sore spot in the lives of many believers (Psalms 73: 3-12), and the Bible's answer to this scenario (Psalms 73: 17) is not widely accepted or understood by "Christians" at large.
Before one gets to wound up over what the grace of God allows to take place with what seems to impunity, consider where any one of us would headed if not for the grace that God has extended each one of to us(). IF one thinks that he/she has earned and is therefore entitled to ANYTHING from God, there is a need for such a believer to return to SPIRITUAL KINDERGARTEN 101 for a refresher course. One of the indicators that one is spiritually maturing is when one can pray that will extend the same mercy and grace when dealing with our adversaries, as He did/does with each one of us.
God does not (usually) require His followers to give up all (Matt. 19: 21) of his/her material possessions in order to follow Him, but He will test all of one's willingness to do so! Where and on what one spends what money he/she does have reflects where his/heart (Luke 12: 34) lies. The budget of Christian Marriage reflects the couples financial support of promoting the Great Commission.
ONE of the reasons that God allows His people to financially prosper is to place them in a position where they can share the wealth with others in need (Eph. 4: 28). What we do (or don't do) for others, we do (or don't do) for God (Matt. 25: 40). Likewise, what we impede others from doing for others, we impede others from doing for God.
There are times (2Thess. 3: 10), such as when people refuse to take responsibility and do what they can do for themselves, to say, "No!" For an advancing disciple, exercising "tough" love is roughest on him/herself. The heart of God desires to give; the old sin nature of Man desires to receive.
When the world lends, it requires collateral. When an advancing disciple GIVES, he/she does so even when he/she expects nothing in return (Luke 6: 35). Christian partners prefer to give than to receive. Christian marriages reflect the giving attitude when interacting with others.
If ANY marriage does not glorify the Lord Jesus Christ, then it is NOT a "Christian" marriage. Christ is glorified the most during times of hardship and adversity, and not in times of blessings and prosperity. Anyone can be content and obedient as long as things are going his/her way. The true test of one's spiritual metal comes into play when things do not go as expected.
Atheists and unbelievers can (and many do) establish stable and financially prosperous marriages, complete with all the possessions, the toys, and with offspring that are "successful", as human viewpoint and the devil's world defines stability, prosperity, and success to be. There is nothing wrong with Christians obtaining and enjoying earthly prosperity (3 John 1: 2), as long as the pursuit and retaining of it is kept in its appropriate place on the advancing disciples list of priorities.
"For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul (Mark 8: 36 NASB)?
"Because you say, "I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing, and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked....(Rev. 3: 16 NASB)."
When worldly-minded people encounter each other, the topic of conversation is usually about each other's health and wealth and that of the family members. While there is nothing wrong with talking about these common area of interest, there is something lacking when the status of one's spiritual health and prosperity never enters the conversation.
I am glad to hear that people are prospering here on Earth, but I can't help to wonder if they are as well off in their heavenly bank account (Matt. 6: 20).
Many worldly-minded "Christians" people can tell you to the penny what they have in their earthly bank accounts or the dollar value of their primary assets, but are totally ignorant as to the existence or status of their account in Heaven, or how it will impact their environment in the life to come (Matt. 6: 20/1 Cor. 3: 12-15/Rev. 3: 17).
To the surprise of many, there is nothing wrong with a wife making and managing her OWN money (Psalms 31: 16), long as she does not neglect her primary duties as a Christian wife/mother in the process.
No where in Scripture does it say that a wife MUST contribute to the finances of the marriage via employment outside of the home. According to Scripture, providing that she does not neglect her primary responsibilities AT HOME, this is an option that can be one of the many ways that she can choose to fulfill her role as his helpmate.
At the same time, the wife who does not financially contribute must be satisfied with what the husband's income can provide.
The husband/father is responsible for the financial support of the marriage (1Tim. 5: 8). A Christian man must refuse financial help from the wife if it means compromising his martial authority. A Christian husband does NOT need that kind of "help." It is only a matter of time before the real motivation of providing financially was for the purpose of "helping" or "completing" for control of what is or what is NOT to take place with the finances of the home.
In the "real world, this can be a very challenging principle of Christian marriage in cases where the wife is in a position to financially contribute more than her husband to the marriage. In the plan of God, the marital authority of the husband is NOT for sale.
Christians who share "joint" accounts here on Earth are jointly responsible for how it was obtained, and what IS or is NOT done with it. Here, the husband, in his capacity as the head of the house, is primarily responsible for the stewardship of all "community" property connected with the marriage. The two names on the account(s) does NOT diminish marital authority or responsibility. Again, this can be a very challenging area of Christian marriage.
The devil is well aware of how financial matters can become the source of contention between the Christian husband and the Christian wife and how compromising the principles of Christian Marriage can seem to be the "thing to do". In such scenarios, the reality of choosing between God and money (Matt. 6: 24) is loud and clear to anyone with an ounce of spiritual discernment.
Christian marriage is NOT about who is going to change the next diaper, do some shopping, prepare a meal, or who is going to cut the grass, or shovel the walk. The husband's primary responsibility is to provide spiritual guidance, financially support and provide for the needs and provide for the safety of the members of his household. In order for each one to fulfill his/her specific duties (or to assist the other in the execution of his/hers), cooperation will be necessary. Functions can be adjusted and/or delegated, but the responsibility and accountability (to God) for the execution of one's part in a Christian Marriage, are NOT open for debate. Ultimately, BOTH human partners are accountable to the divine Partner in ALL matters. Learning and applying what Christian Marriage requires of each ONE of us is half the battle. The other half is applying the principles, even in cases where our mate do not. THAT is when Christian Marriage becomes most challenging.
Both divine blessing and divine discipline (Acts 5) can be the end result of the decisions that partners make individually and mutually. As the one in charge, the husband/father is held accountable to God for the decisions he makes and for the decisions that he allows others to make that impact the spiritual environment of the home.
The alternative forms of marriage and societies that many "liberated" women and "castrated" men of the Western World have produced, is one of the reasons why the Gospel is so highly resisted in many parts of the Eastern World. The Eastern World will contend that if "this" (this = the present day decline of the American society) is what "Christianity" has to offer in and for the home, they are not interested! True Christianity and the image that our modern day society projects are two very different things. but never-the-less, the world evaluates the validity of Christianity on the basis of what it sees in the lives of those who claim association with the Christian Community at large.
The decline in the respect and significance of Christian marriage WITHIN THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY as a divine institution is abundantly clear in the day and age in which we live. These alternative marriages (or lack of marriage) are among the , "...doctrines taught by demons (demonic influence) - 1 Timothy 4: 1) that were prophesied to take place as the Church entered the end times. People have been living together without the benefit of marriage since ancient times (John 4: 18), but never has the practice been so prevalent throughout the "Christian Community", as it is in the times in which we live.
*(For more information on the spiritual issues surrounding "living together", click HERE. )
Identifying oneself as a "Christian", and then not honoring the divine institution of marriage (Heb. 13: 4), as God designed it to be, is ONE of the many ways that one can violate one of the Ten Commandment concerning the taking (on) of the Lord' name (title) in "vain".
Addressing our Lord as "Lord" acknowledges His Deity (Psalms 110: 1). "Jesus" was the name given to our Lord at the circumcision ceremony (Luke 2: 21) of His Humanity, as Mary had been directed to do by the angel (Luke 1: 31) Gabriel. "Christ" is His title meaning the anointed One. Interesting to note that "Lord" comes from His Jewish background; "Jesus" is a Gentile name; and "Christ" is a Greek title. Identifying with Him as one's Lord and Savior, and then knowingly and willingly entertaining ANY sin is taking (on) the Lord's name in vain.
Most historians and "religious" schools of thought do NOT dispute the historical claim that there had been a "man" named Jesus in the 1st century who claimed to have been a man of God. Even secular science uses the BC/AD designations for setting times and dates. It is the veracity of the claims that this "man" made (John 3: 18/John 14: 6) that has been the issue ever since the events of the First Advent has taken place. Either He was, is, and will be EVERYTHING that He claimed to be (as Christians believe) or He is not, as all His past, present, and future enemies have contended, are contending, and will contend until the day that God the Father causes EVERY knee to bend and to acknowledge Him (Romans 14: 11/Phil. 2: 10)!
Although human viewpoint and "religion" may infer that something can be done to alter the eternal location and/or environment of a departed, spiritually-dead soul, Scripture supports no such activity. Engaging in such activity for a departed born again soul actually amounts to an insult to the Person and Work of the Lord Jesus Christ, suggesting that what HE did failed to provide for the safe passage and arrival (Romans 14:4) of the departed soul into the 3rd Heaven to be with the Lord. Such activities are among the things that are held in high esteem by Man, but are detestable in the sight of God (Luke 16: 15).
Sad to say, the inevitable acknowledgement of the Lord Jesus Christ (Rom. 14: 11/ Phil 2: 10, 11 will come too late for many (Rev. 20: 15). The soul that believes the Gospel while here on Earth is in Heaven upon departing the body at the moment of physical death. The final destination of a soul that disbelieves the Gospel is the lake of fire.
The individual heavenly experience of believers in Heaven will be greatly impacted by the rewards he/she receives or forfeits at the 1 Cor. 3: 12-15 evaluation of the deeds of one's post salvation spiritual life. How well or if a believer complied with in which the principles of Christian marriage will play a major role in the 1Cor. 3: 12-15 evaluation, as will ANY activity that is a part of one's CHOSEN lifestyle.
Affixing the adjective "Christian" to one's marriage takes on awesome significance and responsibility! Just because two "Christians" were married in a "Christian" Church does NOT mean they have a "Christian Marriage" where the rubber meets the road!
When referring to the unique "God-man" as the Lord Jesus Christ, one is acknowledging His divine nature, His humanity, and His mission in His capacity as the Lamb of God who took away the sins of the world (John 1: 29). Many groups will concur that they believe in "Jesus", but do not acknowledge all that His name/title encompasses.
Misusing the Lord's name by false swearing, as a cuss word/phrase, , or in the same sentence as profanity is the modern day interpretation of a violation of this Commandment. While such usage should NEVER be heard coming out of the mouth of one who claims to be a Christian, the
taking ON the Lord's name (identifying oneself as a Christian) and then disgracing the name by what we do (or don't do) covers a lot more ground than just the "revealing" (Matt. 15: 18) words that may come out the mouth. ANYTHING that one who claims to be a Christian does (or fails to do) that justifies the Christian realm being maligned is taking (on) the Lord's name in vain.
When Christian marriage is entertained, there is no tyranny, abuse (Eph. 5: 25), or disrespect by or of marital authority. There is respect for authority (Eph. 24) on the part of the wife, and sincere consideration for the wife when for the decisions that the husband makes. One cannot exercise respect and mutual "agape" love and be at war with another person at the same time. Failure on the part of the one in a position of authority to function appropriately, or insubordination on the part of one under authority, does NOT redefine or justify adjusting the divinely-established method of operation of one's own position (1 Pet. 2: 18) and role in Christian marriage.
There is no challenge when the one in a position of subordination is in agreement with what is taking place. The challenge comes when one is not.
"Servants (those under authority; e.g. wives) be submissive to your masters (the one in authority (the one is authority; e.g. husband) with ALL respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. For this (submitting to authority) finds favor, if for sake of conscience (the wife does so in obedience to God) man (person under authority; e.g., wife) bears up (endures) under sorrows when suffering unjustly.
(1 Pet. 2: 18 italics mine)."
It is when the wife totally disagrees with what the husband has to say that the type of obedience (in all matters) referenced in Eph.5: 24 AND with a Phil 2: 14 attitude (doing ALL things without grumbling or disputing) can be most challenging! The only exception to obeying marital authority is IF and when doing (or not doing) what one is told by the person in authority would amount to sin.
Marital "spas" are inevitable, but Christian marriage commands us to settle unresolved issues BEFORE GOING TO BED each night.
"Be angry (that's normal), and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger (Eph. 4: 26 NASB italics mine)."
Going to bed while still having a marital ax to grind (a point to make) is a willful act of disobedience on the part of the one who chooses to do so. If one chooses to "keep the ball rolling" over events that happened in either the recent or distant past, such a believer him/herself is living in willful disobedience. There is NO place for bitterness in a Christian marriage.
Spitefully withholding marital sex (1 Cor. 7: 3-5) or other forms of affection is a sin. A vengeful grudge (Romans 12: 19) is clear evidence of having an unforgiving heart (Matt. 6: 15). Putting an issue on the back burner, only to bring it forward when the next opportunity presents itself is NOT the method of operation that God designed for Christian Marriage. When God forgives, He no longer remembers the sin (Isa. 43: 25) confessed. Our Lord taught that if we do not forgive others in the same (unconditional) way that God has forgiven us, He will not forgive us our sins that keeps us out of fellowship with Him (Habakkuk 1: 13). Our Lord was NOT referring to the loss of salvation, but the loss of fellowship (2 Cor. 13: 14). Never the less, being out of fellowship with God is enough for an advancing disciple to want to address the situation. Whatever one's spouse did (or failed to do) to upset the cart in not worth hindering one's own walk with the Lord. This is what is meant by the principle that the one who refuses to forgive does more harm to himself that to the one with whom he/she is angry.
When out of fellowship with God, one remains saved but is functioning "...apart from God (John 15: t5) and therefore can NOT execute the true post salvation spiritual life, no matter HOW much "other" activity we choose to engage. This principle makes it clear the extent of damage that one does to his OWN post salvation spiritual life if hee/she refuses to forgive others. The ONE and ONLY Biblical remedy for ANY post (after salvation) sin is confession to God (1 John 1: 9) and if when ANY sin has become a lifestyle,, forsaking the same form of sin (John 8: 11) in the future.
What one needs to ask him/herself is, "Is this spat that I am having with my spouse worth compromising my own walk with the Lord?". For the advancing disciple, the answer is ALWAYS. "No!". Human nature often sees the one who seeks peace as the weaker one, but divine viewpoint sees him/her as not only being the stronger one. The strength to do so comes from (Phil. 4: 13). Such behavior reveals that he/she has his/her priorities (placing God and/or the things of God first) in proper order.
For the advancing disciple, the bottom line for determining one's course of action is what brings glory to God in the presence of observing beings, both human and angelic. In such trials, it is NOT so much what Jesus would do (That is obvious!), but what the He wants US to do when we find ourselves in challenging situations.
Like everything else in "Christian" discipleship, Christian marriage is one that glorifies the Lord Jesus Christ, evidenced by the degree in which each partner identify\ies and executed their individual and corporate, God-given, roles.
* * *
When contemplating marriage, both partners have to discuss and agree on what the financial and materialistic expectations he/she has for the marriage, with the understanding that no one can be certain of his/her future financial) gains or losses. For the believer with spiritual discernment, much about the character of the future mate can be detected by where one places his/her treasures (Luke 12: 34), or where he/she would place them if he/she were to acquire wealth.
More than likely, these expectations will have to be adjusted from the time to time. Most couples experience times of financial challenge and times of financial security. As odd as it may seem, many couples will find themselves closer when times are financially challenging! If in the long run, the marriage fulfills these expectations, that is fine. But if it fails to do so, the moral commitment that both parties made to God and to each other remain in force.
When do financial and materialistic expectations become "unrealistic" in Christian marriage? The husband has the primary responsibility of being the provider of the logistical needs (not wants). Accordingly, the expectations of a Christian marriage should not exceed whatever the husband's ability to provide. Many factors, both seen and unseen, can come into play that can either increase or decrease what the husband's ability to provide may be. Whatever IS within the Christian husband's ability to provide, IS his moral responsibility (1 Tim. 5: 8) to fulfill.
"If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially of those of his household, he has denied the faith (pertaining to the Doctrine of Christian Marriage) and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim. 5: 8 NASB italics mine)."
Again, this principle is based on what he is able to provide.
It is the corresponding function of the Christian wife to adjust to whatever these changes are along the way (without grumbling or disputing - Phil. 2: 14). Also note that a husband/father can provide his wife and children with everything they want, but still fail to provide them with what they need the most. "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul (Mark 8: 36 NASB)?"
When God chooses to "give", or chooses to allow a believer to prosper, He does so for a reason. When God chooses to "take away", or allows things to be taken away, He does so for a reason. In the words of Job, who experienced both extremes, "....The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God (Job 1: 21, 22 NASB)." "...Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips (Job 2: 10 NASB)."
Granted, marriages that are built (or dependent) on the financial contributions of the wife will bring in much more financial support and much more quickly than one that is structured around the income and ability of the husband alone. It will take an advanced level of spiritual maturity on the part of the husband to accept the financial contributions of his wife and not be "pressured" into compromising his marital authority in "all" matters (Eph. 5: 24). It will take an equal amount of spiritual maturity on the part of a wife who DOES contribute to the finances of the home NOT to use it the means to circumvent marital authority.
"But as the Church is subject to (under the divine authority of )Christ, so also the wives ought to be (under the delegated authority of) to their husbands in E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G (Eph. 5: 24 NASB/italics mine."
Many Christian men delegate the function of managing the day to day finances that they provide to their wives. Functions can be delegated, responsibility can not. Wives managing the household is what the keeping house of 1Timthy 5 : 14 is all about.
It will take an advanced level of spiritual maturity on the part of a Christian wife who chooses to contribute financially to the household NOT to use her contribution as the means to circumvent marital authority in "all " matters, and especially in matters of a financial nature.
The command of (Phil 2: 14) applies to BOTH the Christian husband and the Christian wife in their roles within Christian marriage to:
"Do ALL things without grumbling or disputing (Phil. 2: 14 NASB)."
When circumstances, not of either partner's choice, require that either the husband or wife assume some of the functions that his or her mate can no longer perform, either temporarily or permanently, there is nothing wrong with either one helping the other. Again it will be a great challenge on the part of the one who shoulders the heavier end of the log, not to use this as the means to re-write the principles of Christian Marriage. There is a huge difference between what one CAN not do and what one WILL not do.
A Christian wife may CHOOSE to be a HELP her husband by contributing financially to the marriage (Prov. 31: 16), but she is under no obligation to do so.
The sovereignty of God has the right to add to or take away anything (or anyone) in the life of a believer, if that is what HIS plan calls for. IN the case of Job, who lived a godly life (Job 2: 3), he lost ten (adult) children, property, live-stock (means of income), social fellowship and health. The only thing of significance that Job did not lose was his wife who contributed NOTHING to ease his pain and suffering (Job 2: 9). What is often times over-looked in the story of Job, was that the ten children who lost their lives (here on Earth) fulfilled the purpose that God intended when He chose to take them Home at an age and stage in life that from human viewpoint was premature.
In the end, Job was healed and was later greatly blessed by God here on Earth. There are MANY Christians throughout the course of their POST salvation spiritual life that have permanently lost (or will lose)everything here on Earth in order to fulfill the plan of God.
There is a major difference between what we may WANT, and what we may NEED to gain or lose in order to fulfill the plan of God. Matt. 7: 31-33 speaks of God providing what we NEED; and not what we want.
"Do not be anxious then, saying, "What shall we eat?", or "With what shall we clothe ourselves?" For these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your Heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But first seek His Kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things will be added to you (Matt. 7: 31-33 NASB"."
For the Christian in the Church Age, the qualifying condition of first seeking His Kingdom amounts to pursuing and executing the TRUE post salvation spiritual life. Establishing a "Christian" marriage is a critical part of the true post salvation spiritual life, IF a Christian chooses to marry. Since the "But" condition is NOT being met by MANY individuals and or married couples, they have no claim on the promise to have all their "needs" met. This principle can apply to both single Christians and Christian couples.
Where God and many believers differ, is what one "needs" as opposed to what one wants. There is an old saying that warns that one should be very careful about what one ask for, as he/she might just get it. Getting what one wants, and then wanting what one got is not necessarily one in the same.
As we noted, the advancing disciples in many cultures throughout the course of the Church Age have lost the fellowship of their spouses and family, risked and/or lost life, property, and freedom for choosing to follow the Lord at all costs. Such believers were, are, and will be willing to wait to be rewarded (1Cor. 3: 12-15) in the life to come. The amazing thing, from the perspective of human viewpoint, is that such great men and women of faith, would have done do so even if there were no rewards to be received. Such believers are motivated by ALL that God already chose to do for them on the cross.
Matt. 7: 31-33 does NOT means that everyone who follows the Lord is going to be blessed with temporal prosperity here on Earth. The individual plan that God has in mind for any one of us may call for just the opposite (2Cor. 11: 23-27). To some degree, ALL Church Age believers who pursue the post-salvation spiritual life will be persecuted for it (2Tim. 3: 12). This persecution can come from those with whom we share close personal relationships (Luke 14: 26).
The only thing that God assures us is that He will provide everything that we, in the capacity of an advancing disciple, needs to fulfill His will, not ours. This is what it means to ask for (with the assurance of receiving) "anything" in His name (John 14: 13). When Scripture (Psalms 37: 4) says that God will grant believers the desires of their heart, He is referring to the godly desires that the true post salvation life produces in the hearts of advancing disciples. It is the spiritual desires that God gives, and not necessarily what we desire that God is promising.
"Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the (godly) desires of your heart (Psalms 37: 4 NASB italics mine)."
There is NO promise being made by God to grant ANY desire that is outside of the plan that He has in mind for each one of us.
When one truly "takes delight" in the Lord, and in the things of the Lord, NOTHING is worth getting or retaining that would impede one's walk with God. The more one desires to walk with God, the less appealing that ANYTHING (Luke 4: 6) this world or its "god" - 2 Cor. 4: 4 (note small "g") has to offer. The "god" here is the devil himself.
"... the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving...( 2 Cor. 4: 4 NABS)."
Don't get me wrong. God DOES bless believers here on Earth. I am the recipient of many of God's temporal blessings. But I will not be taking any one of them with me when my appointed time of departure arrives.
The SELF centered nature in Man believes that God is to be there for him/him, rewarding him/her for all the good he/she does. But as Luke 17: 9, 10 teach, one should NOT expect to receive any special consideration for only have done what was required of him/her in the first place. The CHRIST centered mind set of an advancing disciple is that he/she is here to serve the purposes of God. God owes us NOTHING. In His grace, He has already given each and every believer MORE than what we deserve. What all we deserve is an eternity in Hell.
* * *
Financial disaster is not grounds for the end of a Christian marriage, but there is an old (human viewpoint) saying that when the bills come in the door, the love goes out the window. Satan knows the turmoil that financial disaster can bring to a marriage. Satan has a whole bag full of tricks that appeal to the fallen nature in all of us that can result in the misappropriation of personal and marital finances. God does not want us to give Him what one does not have, but when one spends more money on life's extras than on what the same one offers to God, there is something wrong.
A Christian wife does NOT have to financially contribute anything to the a Christian marriage, but may choose to contribute financially to help her husband. Scripture does not speak against a Christian wife/mother working or investing outside of the home, p-r-o-v-i-d-i-n-g she does not compromise her primary responsibilities and functions required of her in the capacity of a Christian wife/mother in the process.
"...from her earnings she plants a vineyard (Prov. 31: 16 NASB)." "...Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in
in the gates (Prov. 31: 31 NASB)."
Needless to say, the devil will at least try to cash in on such arrangements, by attempting to undermine or at least neutralize the husband's authority in the home. The better house, newer car, more entertainment, or toys that the extra cash can bring to the marriage is a price that the devil will gladly pay if he can destroy the authority of the home in the process. Two people, equally in charge of everything means that there is NO ONE (final authority) in charge of anything. It is easy to say that someone else has the final say as long as what they have to say agrees with us. The humbling test comes into play when the Christian wife is told (yes, I said "told") to do (or not to do) something in which that she does NOT agree.
"As the Church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G (Eph. 5:24 NASB)."
The only time a Christian wife in a Christian marriage can be justified for refusing to obey her husband is when she is told to do something that would cause her to violate the laws of God. Under ANY other circumstances, it is a willful act of disobedience towards God.
If what a Christian wife proposes to do is over-ruled by her husband, the Christian wife/mother is challenged to place the importance of honoring authority over what she (or the children) might otherwise "gain" by doing what they desire to do at the time. A Christian husband will give full weight to the advice and the desires of a godly wife, but when all is said and done, it is his decision and her obligation to comply.
Like it or lump it, if a Christian husband does not take the helm, he is not entertaining Christian marriage. If a Christian wife does submit to marital authority, she is not entertaining Christian marriage. For "Christians" to fail to establish God's system of marital authority involves a sin of omission. Rebelling against marital authority is a sin of commission. In both cases, the sinner will eventually reap the seeds he/she has sown, as ANY form of sin opens the door for individual and/or corporate divine discipline. Alternative marriages may get a Christian what he/she wants, but there is a day coming that he/she will no longer want what he/she gets; be it in this life or in the life to come.
Criticism, deserved and undeserved, is a part of being the one in charge. Adam. "...listened to the voice of his wife (Gen. 3: 17 NASB)", and even though he knew better (1 Tim. 2: 14), brought the curse of arduous labor (Gen. 3: 17) outside of the home for men into the human environment.
Christian wives were never subjected to this arduous-labor curse by God (outside of the home) , but in the name of "liberation", many have assumed the (supporting) task assigned to the Christian husband, and have taken on the curse of arduous labor (outside of the home) that goes along with it(Gen. 3: 17) . I acknowledge that not everyone will agree with me, but in my view when women attained the same level of equality as men, then took a step down to do so. Although the curse of arduous labor was placed on men after the Fall, the labor associated with keeping the house is no picnic.
Grumbling, bitterness, complaining, nagging, sulking, bad mouthing to 3rd parties ,the silent treatment, and withholding sex are all forms of rebellion that violate one or more principles of Christian marriage. Manipulation via of bribery, deeds, insults, threats, or offering sex to obtain (self-centered) objectives when one knows he/she would not otherwise receive what he/she desires, is engaging in the "ways of the world" that has NO place in a CHRISTIAN marriage.
=================================================================================================
Click HERE to go to Part Three.... (Link is under construction)
Click HERE to go to....more doctrines and presentations Page.
The devil, "...prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour (1Pet. 5: 8 NASB),' but the devil does not have the omnipresence (being everywhere and anywhere at the same time) nor the omniscience (all knowledge) that God has. Scripture teach that the devil does have a well structured and organized spiritual force (Eph. 6: 12) that interacts with humans. The purpose of a recon (recognizance) mission is to enter into enemy occupied territory to gather intelligence (information) for future attack. the of a godly man/woman is a "hot spot" for such satanic recognizance (Bok of Job) and angelic (1Cor. 11: 10) observation.
Whenever a soul is advancing in his/her walk with God, he/she appears on the devil's "radar screen".
At some point, the advancing disciple inevitably becomes a "target of interest" worthy of diabolical attack. For any given ministry or an individual believer to seldom be the target of satanic attack does not speak well of the fruit (if any) being produced. The same can be said for those who desire to engage in Christian marriage, having the critical part that is plays in one's post salvation critical life. Its not so much marriage in general, as the devil is well aware of the contribution that marriage makes to the stability of the various nations within his domain (Luke 4: 6). It is the glory that a Christian marriage brings to God that the devil hates.
The devil (1 Pet. 5: 9) and his forces of evil (Eph. 6: 12) learn what buttons to push and when to push them for maximum effect. The devil, and those (John 8: 44/Ephesians 6: 12) who do his bidding (John 8: 44), learn when and where we, as individuals and as a couple, are most vulnerable. According to Biblically indicators, the devil has had 7,000 to 9,000 years of experience deceiving Man with a track record of considerable success (Rev. 12: 9).
For some believers, the devil's counterattack will come in the form of distraction(s) is ways in which human viewpoint would perceive it to be great blessings and opportunities (Luke 4: 6). For others, who have the spiritual discernment to see the baited hook, the diabolical attacks will come in the form of intense adversity. For most of us, it will be a blend of two extremes. The devil is a master at knowing what buttons (adversity vs. prosperity) to press and when to press them for maximum effect.
For me, I concede that marriage and family issues have always been my personal greatest area of spiritual challenge. In order for a Christian marriage to be entertained, it requires the individual submission of both the husband and the wife to the design that God established for marriage. Especially in the apostate times in which we are living, neither the role of the Christian husband/father or the Christian wife/mother is going to be easy. The devil has had great success in redesigning "marriage".
As for people, my general perception is that (pardon the expression) people suck. Thank God there are exceptions, but for the most part, event the good that Man does, he does so with the motivation of self gain or promotion. Having had a thirty year career in law enforcement, the Biblical principle of rottenness in the human being from head to toe (Isa. 1: 6) has proven to be general rule of thumb. If one has trouble trying to comprehend the grace of God, all he has to do is to keep in mind that it was when we were all sinners, that God chose to die for us (Romans 5: 8) to offer us hope.
We, as an individual husband or wife may desire to glorify God in this area of our lives, but we have NO control over the spiritual choices that our spouses may make. Alternative arrangements can be agreed upon to make the home life more harmonious (between the man an wife), but the spiritual life of an advancing disciple is headed for the rocks if God (or the things of God) are left out of the mix. When such arrangements are contrary to God's design, He is denied the glory that Christian marriage would have otherwise brought to Him. Alternative marriages, relationships, or "arrangements" or "activities" within a marriage or relationships), disqualifies one from the life of discipleship (Luke 14: 26). Being disqualified from the life of discipleship is "no biggie" for one who has never been there in the first place, but it will prove to be like being a fish out of water to an advancing disciple.
* * *
The head covering (in Church) issue of 1 Cor. 11 boils downs to the willingness (or lack of it) of the wives in the Corinthian Church at that time to publicly display a symbol of her submission to the marital authority of her husband. Scarce teaching, in favor of "political correctness" on this subject has all but removed this practice "covering" throughout most of the Christian Community at large, but the real issue behind it (respect of marital authority) remains to be a primary target of the devil.
The devil is winning the battle in this regard in America. Many of the changes that we are experiencing as a nation is what these changes have produced.
One of the reasons that America rose to become the nation that it was is for the completion of the evangelistic half of the Great Commission. At least at one time, 90% of the funding for programs that promote the Gospel were coming from people (not the government) of the United States. When peoples of foreign lands hear of the changes that are taking place in family structure (and the society that it is producing), they are turned off to listening to the Gospel that comes from such a people.
As goes the family structure, so goes the nation. Without authority, chaos is the result. Equal authority means that no one is in charge. With no one in charge, ALL issues become open for debate. I wise man will take into serious consideration the advice of a godly wife. There are times however, when the husband/father is called to say NO! to the ones (wife, children) who are under his authority (Gen. 3: 17). Except for when compliance with marital/parental authority would cause one to sin, it is the function of a Christian wife (and children) to obey the marital parental authority in the home. I have no issues with BOTH the husband and the wife sharing in the division of labor, but the ultimate responsibilities and accountabilities that God has placed on both the husband and the wife have NOT changed.
I have no issues about equality for women outside of the marriage and/or the Church. I promote the Christian concepts as far as how wives are to be treated by the one in charge (Eph. 5: 25). But like it or lump it, God placed the male partner in the position of authority in both Christian Marriage (Eph. 5: 22-24) and in the Church (1 Cor. 14: 34) that He designed.
"...not the smallest letter or stroke (finest detail) shall pass away from the Law (or Church Age Doctrine) until all is accomplished (Matt. 5: 18 NASB italics mine." As long as the Church Age is in progress, the laws of God concerning the Church and Christian Marriage are still in force, regardless of what all the "political correctness" has to otherwise say. The Church Age began at the Feast of Pentecost around 33-34 AD and does not end until the Rapture (1Thess. 5: 17) takes place.
Temporal blessings and material possessions, regardless of where they came from, are ALL left behind and belong to someone else the second one breathes his/her last breath here on Earth. The world may have been impressed with all the "stuff" that an alternatives to Christian marriage, but God to whom we must given an account (Romans 14: 10) is NOT. In fact, ALL that one receives as a result of the production of human (vs. divine) good will add up to no more than fuel for the fire at the 1 Cor. 3: 12-15 evaluation and rewarding of deeds.
On the other hand, God is not opposed to prosperity that is honestly obtained (3John 1: 2). God is not impressed with self-induced hardship.
If given the choice, no one holding to man viewpoint would choose adversity over pleasure, sacrifice over prosperity. Never-the-less, if a believer would not be just as content in his/her soul in a small apartment, being relatively poor, without a car, unemployed, disabled, sexually dysfunctional, as he/she would be in a big house, with several cars, lucrative career(s), healthy, and sexually active, then such a believer has no idea about what discipleship and/or Christian marriage is all about.
Even the best marriages are going to be challenging. The requirements of Christian marriage make it even harder.
The self-centeredness of the fallen nature will motivate one to propose
ristians are NOT going to get as far "ahead" (as human viewpoint views getting ahead) here in the devil's worldas he/she would likely get by living in accordance with the ways of the world. The "prosperity" of wicked has been a sore spot in the lives of many believers (Psalms 73: 3-12), and the Bible's answer to this scenario (Psalms 73: 17) is not widely accepted or understood by "Christians" at large.
Before one gets to wound up over what the grace of God allows to take place with what seems to impunity, consider where any one of us would headed if not for the grace that God has extended each one of to us(). IF one thinks that he/she has earned and is therefore entitled to ANYTHING from God, there is a need for such a believer to return to SPIRITUAL KINDERGARTEN 101 for a refresher course. One of the indicators that one is spiritually maturing is when one can pray that will extend the same mercy and grace when dealing with our adversaries, as He did/does with each one of us.
God does not (usually) require His followers to give up all (Matt. 19: 21) of his/her material possessions in order to follow Him, but He will test all of one's willingness to do so! Where and on what one spends what money he/she does have reflects where his/heart (Luke 12: 34) lies. The budget of Christian Marriage reflects the couples financial support of promoting the Great Commission.
ONE of the reasons that God allows His people to financially prosper is to place them in a position where they can share the wealth with others in need (Eph. 4: 28). What we do (or don't do) for others, we do (or don't do) for God (Matt. 25: 40). Likewise, what we impede others from doing for others, we impede others from doing for God.
There are times (2Thess. 3: 10), such as when people refuse to take responsibility and do what they can do for themselves, to say, "No!" For an advancing disciple, exercising "tough" love is roughest on him/herself. The heart of God desires to give; the old sin nature of Man desires to receive.
When the world lends, it requires collateral. When an advancing disciple GIVES, he/she does so even when he/she expects nothing in return (Luke 6: 35). Christian partners prefer to give than to receive. Christian marriages reflect the giving attitude when interacting with others.
If ANY marriage does not glorify the Lord Jesus Christ, then it is NOT a "Christian" marriage. Christ is glorified the most during times of hardship and adversity, and not in times of blessings and prosperity. Anyone can be content and obedient as long as things are going his/her way. The true test of one's spiritual metal comes into play when things do not go as expected.
Atheists and unbelievers can (and many do) establish stable and financially prosperous marriages, complete with all the possessions, the toys, and with offspring that are "successful", as human viewpoint and the devil's world defines stability, prosperity, and success to be. There is nothing wrong with Christians obtaining and enjoying earthly prosperity (3 John 1: 2), as long as the pursuit and retaining of it is kept in its appropriate place on the advancing disciples list of priorities.
"For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul (Mark 8: 36 NASB)?
"Because you say, "I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing, and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked....(Rev. 3: 16 NASB)."
When worldly-minded people encounter each other, the topic of conversation is usually about each other's health and wealth and that of the family members. While there is nothing wrong with talking about these common area of interest, there is something lacking when the status of one's spiritual health and prosperity never enters the conversation.
I am glad to hear that people are prospering here on Earth, but I can't help to wonder if they are as well off in their heavenly bank account (Matt. 6: 20).
Many worldly-minded "Christians" people can tell you to the penny what they have in their earthly bank accounts or the dollar value of their primary assets, but are totally ignorant as to the existence or status of their account in Heaven, or how it will impact their environment in the life to come (Matt. 6: 20/1 Cor. 3: 12-15/Rev. 3: 17).
To the surprise of many, there is nothing wrong with a wife making and managing her OWN money (Psalms 31: 16), long as she does not neglect her primary duties as a Christian wife/mother in the process.
No where in Scripture does it say that a wife MUST contribute to the finances of the marriage via employment outside of the home. According to Scripture, providing that she does not neglect her primary responsibilities AT HOME, this is an option that can be one of the many ways that she can choose to fulfill her role as his helpmate.
At the same time, the wife who does not financially contribute must be satisfied with what the husband's income can provide.
The husband/father is responsible for the financial support of the marriage (1Tim. 5: 8). A Christian man must refuse financial help from the wife if it means compromising his martial authority. A Christian husband does NOT need that kind of "help." It is only a matter of time before the real motivation of providing financially was for the purpose of "helping" or "completing" for control of what is or what is NOT to take place with the finances of the home.
In the "real world, this can be a very challenging principle of Christian marriage in cases where the wife is in a position to financially contribute more than her husband to the marriage. In the plan of God, the marital authority of the husband is NOT for sale.
Christians who share "joint" accounts here on Earth are jointly responsible for how it was obtained, and what IS or is NOT done with it. Here, the husband, in his capacity as the head of the house, is primarily responsible for the stewardship of all "community" property connected with the marriage. The two names on the account(s) does NOT diminish marital authority or responsibility. Again, this can be a very challenging area of Christian marriage.
The devil is well aware of how financial matters can become the source of contention between the Christian husband and the Christian wife and how compromising the principles of Christian Marriage can seem to be the "thing to do". In such scenarios, the reality of choosing between God and money (Matt. 6: 24) is loud and clear to anyone with an ounce of spiritual discernment.
Christian marriage is NOT about who is going to change the next diaper, do some shopping, prepare a meal, or who is going to cut the grass, or shovel the walk. The husband's primary responsibility is to provide spiritual guidance, financially support and provide for the needs and provide for the safety of the members of his household. In order for each one to fulfill his/her specific duties (or to assist the other in the execution of his/hers), cooperation will be necessary. Functions can be adjusted and/or delegated, but the responsibility and accountability (to God) for the execution of one's part in a Christian Marriage, are NOT open for debate. Ultimately, BOTH human partners are accountable to the divine Partner in ALL matters. Learning and applying what Christian Marriage requires of each ONE of us is half the battle. The other half is applying the principles, even in cases where our mate do not. THAT is when Christian Marriage becomes most challenging.
Both divine blessing and divine discipline (Acts 5) can be the end result of the decisions that partners make individually and mutually. As the one in charge, the husband/father is held accountable to God for the decisions he makes and for the decisions that he allows others to make that impact the spiritual environment of the home.
The alternative forms of marriage and societies that many "liberated" women and "castrated" men of the Western World have produced, is one of the reasons why the Gospel is so highly resisted in many parts of the Eastern World. The Eastern World will contend that if "this" (this = the present day decline of the American society) is what "Christianity" has to offer in and for the home, they are not interested! True Christianity and the image that our modern day society projects are two very different things. but never-the-less, the world evaluates the validity of Christianity on the basis of what it sees in the lives of those who claim association with the Christian Community at large.
The decline in the respect and significance of Christian marriage WITHIN THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY as a divine institution is abundantly clear in the day and age in which we live. These alternative marriages (or lack of marriage) are among the , "...doctrines taught by demons (demonic influence) - 1 Timothy 4: 1) that were prophesied to take place as the Church entered the end times. People have been living together without the benefit of marriage since ancient times (John 4: 18), but never has the practice been so prevalent throughout the "Christian Community", as it is in the times in which we live.
*(For more information on the spiritual issues surrounding "living together", click HERE. )
Identifying oneself as a "Christian", and then not honoring the divine institution of marriage (Heb. 13: 4), as God designed it to be, is ONE of the many ways that one can violate one of the Ten Commandment concerning the taking (on) of the Lord' name (title) in "vain".
Addressing our Lord as "Lord" acknowledges His Deity (Psalms 110: 1). "Jesus" was the name given to our Lord at the circumcision ceremony (Luke 2: 21) of His Humanity, as Mary had been directed to do by the angel (Luke 1: 31) Gabriel. "Christ" is His title meaning the anointed One. Interesting to note that "Lord" comes from His Jewish background; "Jesus" is a Gentile name; and "Christ" is a Greek title. Identifying with Him as one's Lord and Savior, and then knowingly and willingly entertaining ANY sin is taking (on) the Lord's name in vain.
Most historians and "religious" schools of thought do NOT dispute the historical claim that there had been a "man" named Jesus in the 1st century who claimed to have been a man of God. Even secular science uses the BC/AD designations for setting times and dates. It is the veracity of the claims that this "man" made (John 3: 18/John 14: 6) that has been the issue ever since the events of the First Advent has taken place. Either He was, is, and will be EVERYTHING that He claimed to be (as Christians believe) or He is not, as all His past, present, and future enemies have contended, are contending, and will contend until the day that God the Father causes EVERY knee to bend and to acknowledge Him (Romans 14: 11/Phil. 2: 10)!
Although human viewpoint and "religion" may infer that something can be done to alter the eternal location and/or environment of a departed, spiritually-dead soul, Scripture supports no such activity. Engaging in such activity for a departed born again soul actually amounts to an insult to the Person and Work of the Lord Jesus Christ, suggesting that what HE did failed to provide for the safe passage and arrival (Romans 14:4) of the departed soul into the 3rd Heaven to be with the Lord. Such activities are among the things that are held in high esteem by Man, but are detestable in the sight of God (Luke 16: 15).
Sad to say, the inevitable acknowledgement of the Lord Jesus Christ (Rom. 14: 11/ Phil 2: 10, 11 will come too late for many (Rev. 20: 15). The soul that believes the Gospel while here on Earth is in Heaven upon departing the body at the moment of physical death. The final destination of a soul that disbelieves the Gospel is the lake of fire.
The individual heavenly experience of believers in Heaven will be greatly impacted by the rewards he/she receives or forfeits at the 1 Cor. 3: 12-15 evaluation of the deeds of one's post salvation spiritual life. How well or if a believer complied with in which the principles of Christian marriage will play a major role in the 1Cor. 3: 12-15 evaluation, as will ANY activity that is a part of one's CHOSEN lifestyle.
Affixing the adjective "Christian" to one's marriage takes on awesome significance and responsibility! Just because two "Christians" were married in a "Christian" Church does NOT mean they have a "Christian Marriage" where the rubber meets the road!
When referring to the unique "God-man" as the Lord Jesus Christ, one is acknowledging His divine nature, His humanity, and His mission in His capacity as the Lamb of God who took away the sins of the world (John 1: 29). Many groups will concur that they believe in "Jesus", but do not acknowledge all that His name/title encompasses.
Misusing the Lord's name by false swearing, as a cuss word/phrase, , or in the same sentence as profanity is the modern day interpretation of a violation of this Commandment. While such usage should NEVER be heard coming out of the mouth of one who claims to be a Christian, the
taking ON the Lord's name (identifying oneself as a Christian) and then disgracing the name by what we do (or don't do) covers a lot more ground than just the "revealing" (Matt. 15: 18) words that may come out the mouth. ANYTHING that one who claims to be a Christian does (or fails to do) that justifies the Christian realm being maligned is taking (on) the Lord's name in vain.
When Christian marriage is entertained, there is no tyranny, abuse (Eph. 5: 25), or disrespect by or of marital authority. There is respect for authority (Eph. 24) on the part of the wife, and sincere consideration for the wife when for the decisions that the husband makes. One cannot exercise respect and mutual "agape" love and be at war with another person at the same time. Failure on the part of the one in a position of authority to function appropriately, or insubordination on the part of one under authority, does NOT redefine or justify adjusting the divinely-established method of operation of one's own position (1 Pet. 2: 18) and role in Christian marriage.
There is no challenge when the one in a position of subordination is in agreement with what is taking place. The challenge comes when one is not.
"Servants (those under authority; e.g. wives) be submissive to your masters (the one in authority (the one is authority; e.g. husband) with ALL respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. For this (submitting to authority) finds favor, if for sake of conscience (the wife does so in obedience to God) man (person under authority; e.g., wife) bears up (endures) under sorrows when suffering unjustly.
(1 Pet. 2: 18 italics mine)."
It is when the wife totally disagrees with what the husband has to say that the type of obedience (in all matters) referenced in Eph.5: 24 AND with a Phil 2: 14 attitude (doing ALL things without grumbling or disputing) can be most challenging! The only exception to obeying marital authority is IF and when doing (or not doing) what one is told by the person in authority would amount to sin.
Marital "spas" are inevitable, but Christian marriage commands us to settle unresolved issues BEFORE GOING TO BED each night.
"Be angry (that's normal), and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger (Eph. 4: 26 NASB italics mine)."
Going to bed while still having a marital ax to grind (a point to make) is a willful act of disobedience on the part of the one who chooses to do so. If one chooses to "keep the ball rolling" over events that happened in either the recent or distant past, such a believer him/herself is living in willful disobedience. There is NO place for bitterness in a Christian marriage.
Spitefully withholding marital sex (1 Cor. 7: 3-5) or other forms of affection is a sin. A vengeful grudge (Romans 12: 19) is clear evidence of having an unforgiving heart (Matt. 6: 15). Putting an issue on the back burner, only to bring it forward when the next opportunity presents itself is NOT the method of operation that God designed for Christian Marriage. When God forgives, He no longer remembers the sin (Isa. 43: 25) confessed. Our Lord taught that if we do not forgive others in the same (unconditional) way that God has forgiven us, He will not forgive us our sins that keeps us out of fellowship with Him (Habakkuk 1: 13). Our Lord was NOT referring to the loss of salvation, but the loss of fellowship (2 Cor. 13: 14). Never the less, being out of fellowship with God is enough for an advancing disciple to want to address the situation. Whatever one's spouse did (or failed to do) to upset the cart in not worth hindering one's own walk with the Lord. This is what is meant by the principle that the one who refuses to forgive does more harm to himself that to the one with whom he/she is angry.
When out of fellowship with God, one remains saved but is functioning "...apart from God (John 15: t5) and therefore can NOT execute the true post salvation spiritual life, no matter HOW much "other" activity we choose to engage. This principle makes it clear the extent of damage that one does to his OWN post salvation spiritual life if hee/she refuses to forgive others. The ONE and ONLY Biblical remedy for ANY post (after salvation) sin is confession to God (1 John 1: 9) and if when ANY sin has become a lifestyle,, forsaking the same form of sin (John 8: 11) in the future.
What one needs to ask him/herself is, "Is this spat that I am having with my spouse worth compromising my own walk with the Lord?". For the advancing disciple, the answer is ALWAYS. "No!". Human nature often sees the one who seeks peace as the weaker one, but divine viewpoint sees him/her as not only being the stronger one. The strength to do so comes from (Phil. 4: 13). Such behavior reveals that he/she has his/her priorities (placing God and/or the things of God first) in proper order.
For the advancing disciple, the bottom line for determining one's course of action is what brings glory to God in the presence of observing beings, both human and angelic. In such trials, it is NOT so much what Jesus would do (That is obvious!), but what the He wants US to do when we find ourselves in challenging situations.
Like everything else in "Christian" discipleship, Christian marriage is one that glorifies the Lord Jesus Christ, evidenced by the degree in which each partner identify\ies and executed their individual and corporate, God-given, roles.
* * *
When contemplating marriage, both partners have to discuss and agree on what the financial and materialistic expectations he/she has for the marriage, with the understanding that no one can be certain of his/her future financial) gains or losses. For the believer with spiritual discernment, much about the character of the future mate can be detected by where one places his/her treasures (Luke 12: 34), or where he/she would place them if he/she were to acquire wealth.
More than likely, these expectations will have to be adjusted from the time to time. Most couples experience times of financial challenge and times of financial security. As odd as it may seem, many couples will find themselves closer when times are financially challenging! If in the long run, the marriage fulfills these expectations, that is fine. But if it fails to do so, the moral commitment that both parties made to God and to each other remain in force.
When do financial and materialistic expectations become "unrealistic" in Christian marriage? The husband has the primary responsibility of being the provider of the logistical needs (not wants). Accordingly, the expectations of a Christian marriage should not exceed whatever the husband's ability to provide. Many factors, both seen and unseen, can come into play that can either increase or decrease what the husband's ability to provide may be. Whatever IS within the Christian husband's ability to provide, IS his moral responsibility (1 Tim. 5: 8) to fulfill.
"If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially of those of his household, he has denied the faith (pertaining to the Doctrine of Christian Marriage) and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim. 5: 8 NASB italics mine)."
Again, this principle is based on what he is able to provide.
It is the corresponding function of the Christian wife to adjust to whatever these changes are along the way (without grumbling or disputing - Phil. 2: 14). Also note that a husband/father can provide his wife and children with everything they want, but still fail to provide them with what they need the most. "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul (Mark 8: 36 NASB)?"
When God chooses to "give", or chooses to allow a believer to prosper, He does so for a reason. When God chooses to "take away", or allows things to be taken away, He does so for a reason. In the words of Job, who experienced both extremes, "....The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God (Job 1: 21, 22 NASB)." "...Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips (Job 2: 10 NASB)."
Granted, marriages that are built (or dependent) on the financial contributions of the wife will bring in much more financial support and much more quickly than one that is structured around the income and ability of the husband alone. It will take an advanced level of spiritual maturity on the part of the husband to accept the financial contributions of his wife and not be "pressured" into compromising his marital authority in "all" matters (Eph. 5: 24). It will take an equal amount of spiritual maturity on the part of a wife who DOES contribute to the finances of the home NOT to use it the means to circumvent marital authority.
"But as the Church is subject to (under the divine authority of )Christ, so also the wives ought to be (under the delegated authority of) to their husbands in E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G (Eph. 5: 24 NASB/italics mine."
Many Christian men delegate the function of managing the day to day finances that they provide to their wives. Functions can be delegated, responsibility can not. Wives managing the household is what the keeping house of 1Timthy 5 : 14 is all about.
It will take an advanced level of spiritual maturity on the part of a Christian wife who chooses to contribute financially to the household NOT to use her contribution as the means to circumvent marital authority in "all " matters, and especially in matters of a financial nature.
The command of (Phil 2: 14) applies to BOTH the Christian husband and the Christian wife in their roles within Christian marriage to:
"Do ALL things without grumbling or disputing (Phil. 2: 14 NASB)."
When circumstances, not of either partner's choice, require that either the husband or wife assume some of the functions that his or her mate can no longer perform, either temporarily or permanently, there is nothing wrong with either one helping the other. Again it will be a great challenge on the part of the one who shoulders the heavier end of the log, not to use this as the means to re-write the principles of Christian Marriage. There is a huge difference between what one CAN not do and what one WILL not do.
A Christian wife may CHOOSE to be a HELP her husband by contributing financially to the marriage (Prov. 31: 16), but she is under no obligation to do so.
The sovereignty of God has the right to add to or take away anything (or anyone) in the life of a believer, if that is what HIS plan calls for. IN the case of Job, who lived a godly life (Job 2: 3), he lost ten (adult) children, property, live-stock (means of income), social fellowship and health. The only thing of significance that Job did not lose was his wife who contributed NOTHING to ease his pain and suffering (Job 2: 9). What is often times over-looked in the story of Job, was that the ten children who lost their lives (here on Earth) fulfilled the purpose that God intended when He chose to take them Home at an age and stage in life that from human viewpoint was premature.
In the end, Job was healed and was later greatly blessed by God here on Earth. There are MANY Christians throughout the course of their POST salvation spiritual life that have permanently lost (or will lose)everything here on Earth in order to fulfill the plan of God.
There is a major difference between what we may WANT, and what we may NEED to gain or lose in order to fulfill the plan of God. Matt. 7: 31-33 speaks of God providing what we NEED; and not what we want.
"Do not be anxious then, saying, "What shall we eat?", or "With what shall we clothe ourselves?" For these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your Heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But first seek His Kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things will be added to you (Matt. 7: 31-33 NASB"."
For the Christian in the Church Age, the qualifying condition of first seeking His Kingdom amounts to pursuing and executing the TRUE post salvation spiritual life. Establishing a "Christian" marriage is a critical part of the true post salvation spiritual life, IF a Christian chooses to marry. Since the "But" condition is NOT being met by MANY individuals and or married couples, they have no claim on the promise to have all their "needs" met. This principle can apply to both single Christians and Christian couples.
Where God and many believers differ, is what one "needs" as opposed to what one wants. There is an old saying that warns that one should be very careful about what one ask for, as he/she might just get it. Getting what one wants, and then wanting what one got is not necessarily one in the same.
As we noted, the advancing disciples in many cultures throughout the course of the Church Age have lost the fellowship of their spouses and family, risked and/or lost life, property, and freedom for choosing to follow the Lord at all costs. Such believers were, are, and will be willing to wait to be rewarded (1Cor. 3: 12-15) in the life to come. The amazing thing, from the perspective of human viewpoint, is that such great men and women of faith, would have done do so even if there were no rewards to be received. Such believers are motivated by ALL that God already chose to do for them on the cross.
Matt. 7: 31-33 does NOT means that everyone who follows the Lord is going to be blessed with temporal prosperity here on Earth. The individual plan that God has in mind for any one of us may call for just the opposite (2Cor. 11: 23-27). To some degree, ALL Church Age believers who pursue the post-salvation spiritual life will be persecuted for it (2Tim. 3: 12). This persecution can come from those with whom we share close personal relationships (Luke 14: 26).
The only thing that God assures us is that He will provide everything that we, in the capacity of an advancing disciple, needs to fulfill His will, not ours. This is what it means to ask for (with the assurance of receiving) "anything" in His name (John 14: 13). When Scripture (Psalms 37: 4) says that God will grant believers the desires of their heart, He is referring to the godly desires that the true post salvation life produces in the hearts of advancing disciples. It is the spiritual desires that God gives, and not necessarily what we desire that God is promising.
"Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the (godly) desires of your heart (Psalms 37: 4 NASB italics mine)."
There is NO promise being made by God to grant ANY desire that is outside of the plan that He has in mind for each one of us.
When one truly "takes delight" in the Lord, and in the things of the Lord, NOTHING is worth getting or retaining that would impede one's walk with God. The more one desires to walk with God, the less appealing that ANYTHING (Luke 4: 6) this world or its "god" - 2 Cor. 4: 4 (note small "g") has to offer. The "god" here is the devil himself.
"... the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving...( 2 Cor. 4: 4 NABS)."
Don't get me wrong. God DOES bless believers here on Earth. I am the recipient of many of God's temporal blessings. But I will not be taking any one of them with me when my appointed time of departure arrives.
The SELF centered nature in Man believes that God is to be there for him/him, rewarding him/her for all the good he/she does. But as Luke 17: 9, 10 teach, one should NOT expect to receive any special consideration for only have done what was required of him/her in the first place. The CHRIST centered mind set of an advancing disciple is that he/she is here to serve the purposes of God. God owes us NOTHING. In His grace, He has already given each and every believer MORE than what we deserve. What all we deserve is an eternity in Hell.
* * *
Financial disaster is not grounds for the end of a Christian marriage, but there is an old (human viewpoint) saying that when the bills come in the door, the love goes out the window. Satan knows the turmoil that financial disaster can bring to a marriage. Satan has a whole bag full of tricks that appeal to the fallen nature in all of us that can result in the misappropriation of personal and marital finances. God does not want us to give Him what one does not have, but when one spends more money on life's extras than on what the same one offers to God, there is something wrong.
A Christian wife does NOT have to financially contribute anything to the a Christian marriage, but may choose to contribute financially to help her husband. Scripture does not speak against a Christian wife/mother working or investing outside of the home, p-r-o-v-i-d-i-n-g she does not compromise her primary responsibilities and functions required of her in the capacity of a Christian wife/mother in the process.
"...from her earnings she plants a vineyard (Prov. 31: 16 NASB)." "...Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in
in the gates (Prov. 31: 31 NASB)."
Needless to say, the devil will at least try to cash in on such arrangements, by attempting to undermine or at least neutralize the husband's authority in the home. The better house, newer car, more entertainment, or toys that the extra cash can bring to the marriage is a price that the devil will gladly pay if he can destroy the authority of the home in the process. Two people, equally in charge of everything means that there is NO ONE (final authority) in charge of anything. It is easy to say that someone else has the final say as long as what they have to say agrees with us. The humbling test comes into play when the Christian wife is told (yes, I said "told") to do (or not to do) something in which that she does NOT agree.
"As the Church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G (Eph. 5:24 NASB)."
The only time a Christian wife in a Christian marriage can be justified for refusing to obey her husband is when she is told to do something that would cause her to violate the laws of God. Under ANY other circumstances, it is a willful act of disobedience towards God.
If what a Christian wife proposes to do is over-ruled by her husband, the Christian wife/mother is challenged to place the importance of honoring authority over what she (or the children) might otherwise "gain" by doing what they desire to do at the time. A Christian husband will give full weight to the advice and the desires of a godly wife, but when all is said and done, it is his decision and her obligation to comply.
Like it or lump it, if a Christian husband does not take the helm, he is not entertaining Christian marriage. If a Christian wife does submit to marital authority, she is not entertaining Christian marriage. For "Christians" to fail to establish God's system of marital authority involves a sin of omission. Rebelling against marital authority is a sin of commission. In both cases, the sinner will eventually reap the seeds he/she has sown, as ANY form of sin opens the door for individual and/or corporate divine discipline. Alternative marriages may get a Christian what he/she wants, but there is a day coming that he/she will no longer want what he/she gets; be it in this life or in the life to come.
Criticism, deserved and undeserved, is a part of being the one in charge. Adam. "...listened to the voice of his wife (Gen. 3: 17 NASB)", and even though he knew better (1 Tim. 2: 14), brought the curse of arduous labor (Gen. 3: 17) outside of the home for men into the human environment.
Christian wives were never subjected to this arduous-labor curse by God (outside of the home) , but in the name of "liberation", many have assumed the (supporting) task assigned to the Christian husband, and have taken on the curse of arduous labor (outside of the home) that goes along with it(Gen. 3: 17) . I acknowledge that not everyone will agree with me, but in my view when women attained the same level of equality as men, then took a step down to do so. Although the curse of arduous labor was placed on men after the Fall, the labor associated with keeping the house is no picnic.
Grumbling, bitterness, complaining, nagging, sulking, bad mouthing to 3rd parties ,the silent treatment, and withholding sex are all forms of rebellion that violate one or more principles of Christian marriage. Manipulation via of bribery, deeds, insults, threats, or offering sex to obtain (self-centered) objectives when one knows he/she would not otherwise receive what he/she desires, is engaging in the "ways of the world" that has NO place in a CHRISTIAN marriage.
=================================================================================================
Click HERE to go to Part Three.... (Link is under construction)
Click HERE to go to....more doctrines and presentations Page.